Psalms In The Heart

  Beginning in Lo Lishma I came to the work with pockets full of need, Looking for comfort, reward, and a place to succeed. I opened the book with myself in the frame, And called it devotion while feeding my name. I learned for the light, for the calm, for the gain, For answers to soften the edges of pain. I dressed up my ego in verses and prayer, And told myself holiness lived over there. I worked for protection, for heaven, for fear, For a future reward that would finally be clear. I said “for the Creator,” but deep in my chest, I was measuring progress by how I felt best. Then the work kept working and wouldn’t comply, Each reason I leaned on would rot and run dry. The sweetness went bitter, the fire went cold, And every why cracked what I thought I still held. The mirror got honest, the ground fell away, Even “spiritual pleasure” had nothing to say. I saw every motive I tried to defend Was just self-love dressed up as a means to an end. And there, in the wreckage of reas...

  “Highway with No Exits (Hibur)” The road has no more exits, no place left to turn, Every sign just says “Continue” while the engines burn. The engine of ego is overheating fast, Red lines on the dashboard screaming from the past. The world kli is cracking right down the seam, Not in the headlines, but inside the dream. Systems collapsing we thought were strong, Now even our pleasures don’t last too long. We’re all in the same car, shoulder to shoulder, Different accents, same weight getting colder. Different stories, different names, But the same old hunger driving the flames. Some want to jump out, some want control, Some blame the road, some blame the soul. Some say it’s politics, some say it’s fate, Some say it’s God, some say it’s too late. But there are no more exits, no place to hide, No hero to vote for, no pill for the ride. No invention left that can save the day, From how we learned to treat each other this way. The breakdown is coming, not metal, not steel, It’s...

   “Only Because of You” I came to the work for the light and the feel, Wanted heaven to prove this whole thing was real. I prayed for some fire, some peace, some relief, But I was just feeding my spiritual thief. Then I learned You enjoy when I show up each day, So I showed up for You — and for what You would pay. I felt You were happy, You shined back at me, But I still loved the echo more than the decree. Then You took the sweetness right out of the song, No taste in the prayer, no right, no wrong. Still I kept dancing, no reason to stay, Only because You wanted it that way. Lost the reward and the feeling of near, Lost even the smile that said “You are here.” No warmth in the heart, no spark in the head, Just a quiet yes where the ego was dead. Now I don’t ask if I’m rising or falling, If You feel close or I feel You’re stalling. One simple motion, one simple rule, If it gives You contentment — I’m in, I’m a fool. You took the sweetness right out of the song, No tast...

  The Worse We Feel (The Closer We Get) We wake each day to do what’s right, to walk together toward the Light, we give, we try, we bless, we pray, yet feel more distant every day. We say, “How strange, we should be near, with all these acts, with all this fear, the Torah’s here, the spice was given, so why’s the heart still so un-livened?” But Baal HaSulam whispers low, “You’re not going back, you’re learning know , the evil wasn’t seen before, now it’s revealed — that’s opening the door.” First comes the truth, the crack, the pain, the hidden will that wants to reign, the deeper ego shows its face, not to defeat — but to be placed. We don’t grow worse, we grow more clear, the dirt was always there, my dear, the Light just shines a stronger beam, to show us what we couldn’t see. The sickness had to be exposed, before the healing could be imposed, the wound must surface, burn, and cry, before the soul can really rise. So when the heart feels far from home, and every flaw is ...

 The Whole Weight We saw a crack and thought, “That’s the fight,” Just a little patch, we’ll seal it tight. We grabbed our tools and went to work, But found another hole — the same old jerk. We fixed one wall, another fell, Thought we escaped but rang the bell. Twenty more inches, then twenty again, We’re fixing the roof while drowning in rain. We thought we carried one small load, Just one kilo on the road. So we bent our backs and pushed it through, Then found another one — times two. We cleaned one corner of the heart, Called it truth, called it a start. But every light that tried to shine Showed ten more shadows in the mind. We’re not correcting, we’re just busy, Running in circles, drunk and dizzy. Patching symptoms, not the core, Sweeping dust behind the door. But when the full weight comes to view, And we see what the will can really do, Not one crack, not one flaw, But the whole damn house at war— That’s the moment prayer is born, Not from pride but from being torn. ...

“Hidden Hand on the Wheel” I break the law, the road goes red, I crash, I bleed, that’s what they said, Nature don’t care, no heart, no face, Just traffic lights in time and space. But in the work, it’s not that way, No clear reward for what I pray, I give my heart, I get no sign, Just silent nights and empty wine. They say the sin is the punishment, The pain itself is the instrument, Not vengeance, not some angry throne, But tools to build what’s still not grown. I fall, I fail, I lose the taste, No light, no love, just inner waste, But Rav whispers through the dust, “This fall is where you learn to trust.” If You were shown in open light, I’d sell my soul for one more sight, I’d never choose, I’d never give, I’d just consume the way I live. So You conceal, You step aside, Let me decide with nothing inside, To love You broke, to serve You blind, To choose You with an empty mind. When I annul, when I let go, I’m called Your people, this I know, No will of mine, no private claim, Just o...