Psalms In The Heart

Welcome to Psalms in the Heart. This blog is a living journal of inner work—raw, honest, and rooted in connection. Here you’ll find poems, reflections, songs, and insights born from everyday life, spiritual study, and the ongoing struggle between the ego and the desire for truth. These writings are not polished sermons or distant philosophy. They come from the road, the workday, the quiet moments, and the storms of the heart. They explore love of friends, responsibility for one another, faith

EVEN IF YOU DON'T SAVE ME

“EVEN IF YOU DON'T SAVE ME”

Inspired by Rabash — Confidence (1986)

I stood before the furnace flame,

With nothing left but Your great Name.

If You deliver, I will stand,

If not, my heart is still in Your hand.

I begged for mercy, begged for light,

Demanded You make wrong things right.

But confidence is not my will,

It's trusting You when all is still.

My selfish heart demands its pay,

For every kindness sent Your way.

Two authorities cannot be one,

Until the work of self is done.

The King needs nothing I can give,

Yet serving Him is why I live.

Not for reward, not for my gain,

But love that rises through the pain.

Each prayer reveals a deeper need,

Each tear becomes a planted seed.

The empty vessel learns to cry,

For strength to bestow, not reasons why.

The שכינה lies beneath the dust,

Where love feels bitter and faith must trust.

Exile reveals the chains I wear,

Redemption begins with a desperate prayer.

The screen restrains what I would take,

So love can give for Your dear sake.

From Pharaoh's grip to freedom's land,

I place my will within Your hand.

And if You never answer my way,

I'll trust Your wisdom anyway.

For confidence is not what You do—

It's wanting nothing but to bestow on You.

BREAK THE BEAST, SET LOVE FREE

Inspired by Rabash, Article No. 42 (1991)

I fed the beast till my soul ran dry,

Gave him the earth, and he wanted the sky.

I offered him love, he demanded a price,

Turned every blessing to cold sacrifice.

He screamed for pleasure, he begged for more,

While truth stood bleeding outside my door.

I called myself righteous, I called myself wise,

While feeding a monster disguised in lies.

The ox knows its master, the donkey its feed,

But I chased the hunger of selfish need.

I wanted Your greatness displayed in the light,

But You gave me faith in the dead of the night.

I cursed the darkness, I cursed the fall,

Never once seeing Your love through it all.

For every descent that shattered my pride,

Was showing the beast I was keeping inside.

So break me of greed, but don't break my heart,

Tear every selfish intention apart.

Strip me of payment, of glory and fame,

Till nothing remains that demands in Your name.

I don't want heaven for serving You well,

Nor fear of punishment dragging me through hell.

I want to bestow when there's nothing to gain,

To love through the darkness, the silence, the pain.

And when my old nature comes begging for pay,

I'll tell that old bastard to get out of my way!

For truth is my compass, and love is my guide,

And faith is the strength when my reason has died.

I'll stand with my brothers, whatever may come,

Till ten beating hearts become beating as one.

No payment, no bargain, no selfish decree,

Just love for the others, and love setting me free.

So send me the darkness, I'll search for Your light,

Send me the struggle, I'll stay in the fight.

For even the fall can awaken my plea,

To give without taking—that's freedom to me!

And when I have nothing, no pleasure, no claim,

I'll still raise my heart and rejoice in Your name.

Not because You rewarded the suffering in me,

But because I can love without asking a fee.

THE SPIES WON'T LET ME PRAY

An original poem inspired by Rabash

I stood before the King today,

But all my thoughts got in the way.

The spies inside began to shout,

"There's nothing here! Turn back! Get out!"

My heart was cold, my eyes were blind,

A thousand doubts ran through my mind.

I tried to give, but all I knew,

Was taking everything for me, not You.

I bowed my head, I closed my eyes,

And heard the truth beneath the lies.

I don't need gold, I don't need fame,

I need a heart that burns for Your name.

The dust was thick beneath my feet,

The taste of giving wasn't sweet.

But in that dust, I came to see,

The only thing that's missing is me.

Not who I am, but who I'll be,

When love replaces all of me.

So take this heart, and make it new,

Until there's nothing left but You.

WHEN THE FACE IS HIDDEN

By William S. Becker

I cried to Heaven, but silence came,

I cursed the darkness and called it by name.

I gave my heart, yet received only pain,

And wondered what love had left to gain.

I watched the wicked rise with pride,

While those who loved Him were cast aside.

The liars prospered, the faithful fell,

And my heart became its own private hell.

I begged for mercy, I begged for light,

But every prayer disappeared in the night.

I thought He'd abandoned the world and me,

And left us chained where we couldn't be free.

But who was it crying, demanding reward?

Who measured the love of the living Lord?

It was my ego, demanding its share,

Refusing to love without something there.

The first concealment had covered His Face,

The second had stolen all sense of His grace.

Yet even the darkness could not erase,

The hidden invitation to seek His embrace.

I turned to my brothers, with nothing to give,

And found in their hearts a new way to live.

Not asking for comfort, or riches above,

But strength to bestow without payment for love.

And there in the darkness, the truth became clear,

The Face wasn't absent because of my fear.

My vessels were changing, my heart learned to see,

That love wasn't something He owed unto me.

So break this damn ego, let selfishness fall,

Let love for my brothers rise over it all.

For the Good Who Does Good has never withdrawn,

And through our connection, we welcome the dawn.

"DON'T LEAVE EMPTY-HANDED"

Inspired by Rabash, The Agenda of the Assembly – 2

I came among my friends today,

With all my selfishness on display.

I heard their words, I saw their face,

But did I give my brother space?

I laughed, I smiled, I sang along,

Convinced myself that I belonged.

But when the gathering reached its end,

What did I carry from my friend?

Did I acquire another's pain?

Or walk away the same again?

Did I embrace his deepest need?

Or feed that bastard called my greed?

Don't tell me love is what you feel,

When someone's wounds you will not heal.

Don't speak of unity so grand,

While letting go your brother's hand.

You drill a hole beneath your feet,

And think your little world is sweet.

But damn it, brother, can't you see?

Your sinking boat is drowning me!

The Creator didn't bring us here,

To polish egos year by year.

He brought us broken, hard, and blind,

To build one heart, one soul, one mind.

So praise the friends, lift every name,

And set your selfish heart aflame.

Then ask what love demands today,

And put those words to work, I say!

For love ain't something you possess,

It's giving when you've nothing left.

It's finding joy in what you give,

And helping every brother live.

And when I leave, let something stay,

A greater love than yesterday.

Not empty words that disappear,

But all my brothers living here.

For when their hearts become my own,

No man among us stands alone.

And through the love we learn to give,

The Creator finds a place to live.

BREAK ME OPEN WITH LOVE

Inspired by Rabash, Article No. 1 (1991)

I thought I stood upon the truth,

But served myself since early youth.

I called it love, I called it prayer,

But all I wanted was my share.

You stripped the lies from deep within,

Exposed the selfishness beneath my skin.

Not to condemn, not to destroy,

But turn my shame to endless joy.

So break my pride and crush my throne,

I cannot change this heart alone.

Take every thought of "me" away,

And teach this beast to love today.

No crown I seek, no grand reward,

Just strength to serve You, precious Lord.

Through all my friends, let love shine through,

For we have no other King but You.