THE ENEMY WE CALL OURSELVES

 THE ENEMY WE CALL OURSELVES

A man can spend his whole damn life,  

Chasing peace through pain and strife.  

He builds his kingdom, brick by brick,  

Then wonders why his heart feels sick.

He buys his children everything,  

The finest clothes, a diamond ring.  

But when they cry, he turns away,  

Too damn busy to hear what they say.

He tells his wife, "I love you, dear,"  

But only when she bends to fear.  

And when she asks to simply be,  

He screams, "Why can't you think like me?"

He calls his brother, "My dear friend,"  

Then tears him down to win again.  

He speaks of love and unity,  

But God forbid they disagree.

He sits before the morning light,  

And begs the Creator to make things right.  

Yet while his lips are forming prayer,  

His heart is screaming, "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

"I've given years! I've done my part!  

So why the hell this broken heart?  

Where is the joy? Where is my pay?  

Why won't You take this pain away?"

And there it stands, the naked truth,  

The beast that's ruled us since our youth.  

Not some dark devil from below,  

But our own desire that won't let go.

Give it a hundred—it demands two,  

Give it the world—it still wants you.  

It drinks from rivers, drains them dry,  

Then curses heaven, asking why.

**But listen, friend, beneath that cry,  

There's something holy that cannot die.  

A tiny longing, buried deep,  

A spark the selfish heart can't keep.**

It wants to love without a price,  

To give itself in sacrifice.  

To see another rise above,  

And find its happiness in love.

But when a friend begins to shine,  

The serpent whispers, "What about mine?"  

And when another takes the lead,  

Our pride comes crawling out to feed.

We call it justice, call it right,  

Then feed our hatred through the night.  

We blame the world, we blame the fall,  

But never see who's built the wall.

And here's the truth that breaks the bone:  

**No man can conquer this alone.**  

You cannot beat your selfish will,  

With selfish strength that serves it still.

So take this heart, this heart of stone,  

This heart that wants the world to own.  

And let it finally learn to see,  

That love begins when it's not "ME."

Not by destroying what we are,  

Or throwing every wish afar.  

But turning all that hunger's flame,  

To serve the others in Your name.

Let envy teach me how to bless,  

Let pride bow down to tenderness.  

Let every wound become a door,  

Through which I learn to give much more.

And when my brother rises high,  

Let joy replace my jealous cry.  

And when my own desires burn,  

Teach me to love without return.

Then even that old serpent's voice,  

Will find in giving its rejoice.  

The enemy that ruled my days,  

Will join my heart in songs of praise.

For heaven isn't something bought,  

Nor conquered by the strength we've got.  

It's when the Creator lifts us free,  

From serving only "ME, ME, ME."

And all the nations deep inside,  

The lust, the hunger, fear, and pride,  

Will praise the One who made them see,  

That love, not greed, has set them free.

**So break me, Lord—not out of spite,  

But break the chains that block Your light.  

And from the pieces, let there rise,  

One heart that loves through others' eyes.**

For when the will to take gives way,  

And mercy rules the heart one day,  

The greatest miracle we'll see,  

Is when my brother matters more than me.

Justice,Mercy humility

I stood before the world demanding what was right,  

While feeding my own ego in the darkness of the night.  

I screamed for perfect justice, with judgment in my hand,  

But never saw the selfish beast on which my feet would stand.  

I spoke of love and mercy while begging to be seen,  

I polished every good deed till my reputation gleamed.  

I gave with one hand open, but the other held the bill,  

And called it holy service while demanding payment still.  

**DO JUSTICE!** Let the truth tear through my pride,  

Expose the filthy selfishness I've learned so well to hide.  

**LOVE MERCY!** Even when my heart is torn,  

Embrace the very brother whose rejection I have worn.  

**WALK HUMBLY!** Let nobody know my name,  

Let every act of giving burn away my need for fame.  

If all I do is sweep the floors within the King's great hall,  

Then let me sweep with joy and never ask for more at all.  

What good is all my wisdom if my brother stands alone?  

What good are all my prayers if I demand a golden throne?  

What good is speaking of the Light while keeping love outside?  

What good is serving Heaven with a heart consumed by pride?  

So break this will to take, until there's nothing left to claim,  

No medals for my suffering, no glory for my name.  

Just let me lift my brothers till their hearts begin to shine,  

And find my greatest pleasure when their joy becomes mine.  

For justice without mercy leaves a heart as cold as stone,  

And mercy seeking honor serves the ego's empty throne.  

But justice clothed in kindness, with humility above,  

Becomes the hidden pathway to the Creator's endless love.  

And when the world forgets me, let my heart remain content,  

For every breath of giving was the reason I was sent.  

No crown, no throne, no payment, no applause for what I've done,  

Just ten hearts joined in bestowal, beating perfectly as one.

 

THE THIEF INSIDE MY HEART

By William S. Becker

I fed a man who had no bread,

Then praised myself for keeping him fed.

I gave my coat to a man in the rain,

Then waited for heaven to notice my pain.

I prayed for a friend whose world fell apart,

While secretly judging the state of his heart.

I spoke of love, of truth, of grace,

Then cursed my brother behind his face.

I sat with the friends and lowered my head,

But wanted them hearing the words that I said.

I cried to the Creator, "I'm giving my all!"

Then cursed His silence when no answers would fall.

Oh, what a bastard this ego can be,

Stealing the love that was never for me!

Dressing in kindness, pretending to give,

Demanding a payment for each day I live.

I built me a kingdom, a throne and a name,

Then called it bestowal to cover my shame.

Two masters were living inside of my chest,

One seeking the Creator, one seeking the best.

But love isn't measured by what I receive,

Nor the tears that I cry, nor the words I believe.

It's giving the friend what my ego would keep,

It's holding his burden when the mountain is steep.

So tear down my kingdom, let self-love depart,

Expose every thief hiding deep in my heart.

Let all of my waters flow into One,

Until there is nothing for self to be won.

And when I can give without claiming a thing,

When another man's joy makes my broken heart sing,

Then perhaps in the place where our selfishness ends,

We'll discover the Creator alive in the friends.

THE DISTANCE BETWEEN OUR HEARTS

# THE DISTANCE BETWEEN OUR HEARTS

*By William S. Becker*

Five days remain, and my heart's already there,  

Among all my brothers, united in prayer.  

But my pockets are empty, no wheels to ride,  

And a thousand miles stand between me and their side.

I've suffered through losses, through anguish and pain,  

But this kind of longing cuts deeper again.  

For I don't seek riches, or pleasures, or fame,  

Just to sit with my brothers and call out His Name.

To lower my head, to annul what I am,  

To give them my heart, not a piece, but the man.  

To stand in their circle, with nothing to hide,  

And feel all our hearts beating as one inside.

God damn this distance, this helpless despair,  

To know where my heart lives, yet not to be there.  

No money, no car, just these tears that I cry,  

While the world keeps on turning, indifferent to why.

But love knows no borders, no highways, no walls,  

And the heart of a brother still hears when one calls.  

So I'll give them my longing, my sorrow, my pain,  

And pray that their unity blossoms like rain.

Let them rise higher, though I cannot attend,  

Let my broken heart serve every brother and friend.  

And if I must remain here, alone and apart,  

Then let them all gather **inside my heart.**

For the Creator knows what these tears are worth,  

When a man wants connection more than all of this earth.  

And though I can't hold them, or look in their eyes,  

**I'll carry their love till the day that I rise.**

**And if my heart breaks, let it break for them all,  

For love is the reason I answered His call.**

A Carpet Beneath Their Feet

 "A Carpet Beneath Their Feet"

I did not come to stand above,

Or claim the highest place in love.

I came to bow, to bend, to kneel,

To lift my friends beyond what I feel.

Let them walk upon my pride,

Let every selfish thought subside.

I'll be the carpet beneath their feet,

If through my love, their souls can meet.

What good is wisdom locked inside,

While brothers suffer from my pride?

What good are prayers that fill the air,

If I refuse their burdens to bear?

The ego screams, "You must be first!"

But that is where the heart is cursed.

For every time I demand my way,

I push the light of love away.

So break my arrogance, strip it bare,

Until there's nothing left but care.

Not for the honor, not for the crown,

But for the strength to bow me down.

We do not need to think the same,

Or wear one face, or speak one name.

Our differences are not the wall,

But opportunities to rise above them all.

And when disturbances shake the ground,

When love seems lost and cannot be found,

We'll hold each other through the night,

And turn our darkness toward the light.

For every blow the ego brings,

Another chance for the heart to sing.

Another chance to choose the friend,

Another wall of separation to end.

I'll give my strength when yours is gone,

You'll lift me up when I can't go on.

And through the concessions that we make,

A single heart begins to wake.

Until no brother stands alone,

No separate kingdom, no selfish throne.

Just one desire, one common plea,

That all my friends rise higher than me.

And at the threshold, bruised and worn,

A different kind of life is born.

Not through the strength of flesh or mind,

But through the love we build and bind.

Then what was hidden starts to show,

A world the selfish heart can't know.

And in the vessel between us all,

We hear the Creator's loving call.

So let me be the lowest stone,

Upon which every friend has grown.

For when their hearts together rise,

The upper worlds open before our eyes.

And if my friends attain that height,

Then every wound was worth the fight.

For I have found what I came to be—

A servant of love, where all are free.

THE PLACE WHERE LOVE IS BORN

  

We came together broken, each carrying his own,  

A thousand selfish wishes, a heart of hardened stone.  

We thought we'd find the Creator somewhere in the skies,  

But He was waiting patiently between our blinded eyes.

We lived our lives in searching, through pleasure, grief, and pain,  

Through wives and sons and daughters, through sunshine and the rain.  

Yet everything we gathered, and everything we'd known,  

Revealed a deeper hunger that none could fill alone.

We came to love our brothers, but found our hearts were cold,  

Our pride was worth a fortune, yet our love was cheaply sold.  

We spoke of love and giving, while calculating gain,  

And wondered why our prayers returned unanswered once again.

We pointed at each other, at everything they'd done,  

Until we saw the enemy was hiding in each one.  

Not in the hearts of others, nor somewhere far away,  

But in the selfish nature that we battle every day.

And every crack between us, each wound we learn to see,  

Becomes a place to ask for love, for what we long to be.  

For none can build the Shechina with selfish hands alone,  

It rises from our common prayer, where hearts become as one.

So let me bow before you, my brothers of the Ten,  

And when my pride comes roaring, I'll bow to you again.  

Not because I'm worthy, not because I'm strong,  

But because without your loving hearts, I'll never move along.

We do not seek perfection, nor crowns upon our heads,  

We seek the love of others, where our selfish nature dreads.  

And when we find we're helpless, with nothing left to give,  

We turn toward the Creator, who teaches us to live.

For lowly is the creature, yet glorious is the call,  

To build a place between us where His love embraces all.  

Not ten separate wishes, each pleading to be free,  

But one united longing for the love we cannot see.

So break this heart of selfishness, but leave its fire alive,  

And turn its burning hunger toward the friends for whom we strive.  

Let every breath be given, let every prayer be true,  

Until the love between us reveals the One in You.

We came together broken, but now we understand,  

The Creator brought us here to take each other's hand.  

For where our hearts surrender, where selfish wishes cease,  

The Shechina finds a dwelling, and our souls discover peace.

**We did not come to find Him in some distant world above,  

We came to build the vessel where He reveals His love.**

EVEN IF YOU DON'T SAVE ME

 

 “EVEN IF YOU DON'T SAVE ME”

Inspired by Rabash — Confidence (1986)

I stood before the furnace flame,

With nothing left but Your great Name.

If You deliver, I will stand,

If not, my heart is still in Your hand.

I begged for mercy, begged for light,

Demanded You make wrong things right.

But confidence is not my will,

It's trusting You when all is still.

My selfish heart demands its pay,

For every kindness sent Your way.

Two authorities cannot be one,

Until the work of self is done.

The King needs nothing I can give,

Yet serving Him is why I live.

Not for reward, not for my gain,

But love that rises through the pain.

Each prayer reveals a deeper need,

Each tear becomes a planted seed.

The empty vessel learns to cry,

For strength to bestow, not reasons why.

The שכינה lies beneath the dust,

Where love feels bitter and faith must trust.

Exile reveals the chains I wear,

Redemption begins with a desperate prayer.

The screen restrains what I would take,

So love can give for Your dear sake.

From Pharaoh's grip to freedom's land,

I place my will within Your hand.

And if You never answer my way,

I'll trust Your wisdom anyway.

For confidence is not what You do—

It's wanting nothing but to bestow on You.