Sunday, June 3, 2012

My True Identity By Molly Bolte


My True Identity

Will I own my self
Will I say YES to my life

Will I be honest about my story
Will I see it all for what it is

Born in pain
Born feeling pain
Born incapable of ignoring pain

Never "normal"
Never able to be just like everyone else

Always wondering
Always asking
Always searching

Never satisfied
Never content

Questioning
Arguing
Debating

Seeking, searching
Doubting, fearing

Crying out

Restless
Anxious
Obnoxious
Arrogant
Conceited

And at the same time
Confused as hell


Angry
Resentful
Bitter

Feeling lost, alone

Desperately seeking more, better, different
and knowing all along that it too would be empty

Futility
Emptiness
Despair

Rage - why me?
Why do I have to feel?
What do I do with all of this?

Will I own my identity?
Will I say yes to my story?

Will I whole heartedly join the new leaders of the brand new world?
Will I surrender my renegade, rebel "individual" will to my ultimate destiny?

Will I awaken to this truth -
all will be answered
all will be fulfilled
only in the full, total, complete consent and surrender to myself as a part of the ONE

Will I finally give up the fight against
standing alone
and realize
that I must melt within the ONE

Will I choose 
Will I make the only free choice I have
or will blows
force me to choose?

Will I run with joy toward the castle - toward my friends - waiting for me
or will I be forced
to bang on the door as the dogs eat at my heels and rip at my clothes?

Help Help Help
Help Help Help

Lies, arrogance, vanity, conceit and pride
keep me out

Help Help Help
Alone I cannot chose
Now is the time
May I choose to be who I am
By Molly Bolte

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