Wednesday, July 12, 2017

I have been asked to tell you a story of my life
It's filled with horror and fear and strife
I am not sure it's the story to you I wish to send
But it is what it is so let's begin
The earliest I remember is when I was three
As my mother shook the hell out of me
You see she suffered from this mental disease
Called Paranoid Schizophrenia man this was tough on many degrees
As she dug her fingers into my arm breaking the skin
And yelled with anger from deep within
You’re not my child get out of my life
Which set me up for a life of strife?
As a fat and clumsy little boy
I found it hard by now to find any joy
So we fast forward to the age of 9
Man this again was a troubling time
As my teachers all stand up in despair
At the time proclaiming that there was no repair
They said that I was dyslexic at best
As they threw me into a class with the rest
Of the ones that learn slowly with no ease
And then the kids really started to tease
Even those that called me there friend
Man to this there was no end
So here is where I just tried to hide
And found the value of pot and getting fried
As we move along till I was 14 and slim
No more little fat boy now I was thin
I came into my own and found football and weights
It was like someone had opened the gate
Now I found I could hit with force
And life set me on its course
Of never having to take their shit
As I fought with those who on my face use to spit
I did not win them all but what I found
Was that I did not have to take lying down
So as I went on and my course was set
I blew out my knee man I was upset
I was headed for the pros that was clear
But instead of that learning to walk took a year
We could not afford to have it fixed
So all my plans truly got nixed
Now we move on till the age of 19
As by now I had been racing motocross what a scream
This is where I meet my first wife
And with her we shared a life of strife
You see she was molested by her step dad
But this bit of information I never had
So we married & I joined the Air Force
Where I thought I would spend my life of course
So one day I came home as about something she and I disagreed
So she went home to her mother and that was all there would be
She remarried to a man who use to beat her all the time
And I would look for a reason to clock his chime
I went out of my way to beat him to a pulp
As you see my life was then sculpted
As I entered my early 20's and more
I married again and this one I adored
She became the mother of my boys
Who defiantly fill me with joy?
As time went on and my intuition grew
There was something about her that I just knew
That she was sleeping all around
With the police and doctors around our town
Then I caught her one fate filled night
As I packed up my boys and took out in flight
Now the story truly does not end here
As 13 more relationships all filled with fear
All but two were caught sleeping around
As myself worth was trampled in the ground
Not to mention my heart
But still within me with hope I would not part
I truly only wish to find
A true friend for the end of time
And then on one fate filled day
As in my work in a troublesome way
A fight broke out & oh yea I was in the middle
Hating what I became and feeling my life was away being whittled
I reached inside with all my might
After being involved with this fight
And asked to take the damn ego away
Right now this moment this second today
So as I went back inside and got online
While searching inside for some kind of sign
Well from here you know where it went
I found the Rav, the books, and the group, as now all my time is spent
Working on the connection to you all
Holding you up so you won’t fall
Never giving up or giving in
Because I know with you is where we begin
I feel right now that I have finally found
The friends of friends what a beautiful sound
As we all strive for one single goal
As we put together the pieces of our soul
Through our connection as we become whole

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