The year begins, the ego cries,

“Keep it mine, believe the lies.”

But we choose the crown, the King above,

Harsh to the self, yet filled with love.

Shofar sound, it cuts the night,

Turns the judgment into light.

Empty hearts, like seeds we bring,

Pomegranate full—faith above, we cling.

Not alone, but hand in hand,

One society takes its stand.

Brutal truth, the vow we make—

Unconditional love for heaven’s sake.

1. Awakening – The Point in the Heart

I wander through life with hollow eyes,

Drunk on illusions, feeding on lies.

But a thorn in my chest will not let me sleep,

A hunger eternal, a yearning so deep.

I thought it was madness, I thought it was pain,

But it whispered of truth I could not contain.

“Seek Me in love, not in gold or in lust,

Build in the Ten, in connection and trust.”

---

2. Despair – Revelation of Evil

I tried to rise, but the ego screamed,

It shattered my hope, devoured my dream.

Every prayer mocked, every deed cursed,

The will to receive showed its teeth at its worst.

I saw my reflection, a beast in the glass,

Laughing at virtue, spitting at class.

And I cried, “Creator, why was I made?

To drown in the filth of the ego’s blade?”

---

3. First Light – Faith Above Reason

In the pit of despair, a spark appeared,

Silent and small, yet sharp and seared.

Not knowledge, not proof, not reason’s chain,

But a whisper of love that broke my pain.

“I am with you,” the silence said,

“Not in your mind, but in what you shed.

Give one drop of love, rise above strife,

That drop is eternal—it’s true, it’s life.”

---

4. Connection – The Ten as the Vessel

I fell to the friends, my brothers, my shield,

Their love was the ground where the Light was revealed.

I annulled my pride, I swallowed my hate,

For in them I touched the eternal state.

Each heart was a flame, together they roared,

A field of mercy, the dwelling of Lord.

In their embrace my soul could breathe,

The death of self was the life I received.

---

5. Faith and Love – The First Degree

Through the brutal fight, through the endless cost,

I found the one thing that is never lost.

Not power, not wealth, not a fleeting dream,

But eternal love, the Creator’s gleam.

So I give and I burn, I rise and I fall,

But the drop of bestowal outlives it all.

And though I am nothing, my soul can sing—

The first degree is everything.

The First Degree

I choke on the chains of my own desire,

Hands burned bloody from chasing the fire.

Every joy fades, every dream dies,

My heart’s a graveyard of broken lies.

I scream to the void—nothing replies,

Till shame cuts deep and opens my eyes.

I see the friends, I see the flame,

A force of love I cannot name.

The ego claws, it will not let go,

It curses the path, it hates to bestow.

But in the rubble, a whisper is heard—

Not in my voice, but in His word.

“Rise above reason, trust what you feel,

The drop of love you give is real.

It will not be lost, it cannot decay,

It’s eternal Light in a fleeting day.”

So I bow to the friends, my fortress, my guide,

Their hearts are the vessel where I abide.

Through brutal fire, through faith I’m remade,

Unconditional love is the first step laid.

In Pennsylvania’s embrace, at Fox Run’s sacred ground,

Where hearts converge, where love is found,

The Creator’s light, a beacon bright,

Guides our souls through day and night.

From JR’s eyes, the hugs unfold,

Friends like family, warm and bold,

A spectacle divine, the Creator’s art,

Painting joy within each heart.

Lance speaks of love, a tender flame,

Each friend’s embrace, no one the same,

Yearning to unite, above the strife,

Rising as one to a higher life.

Ella’s tale begins at journey’s start,

A team of care, with open heart,

Bananas, water, love’s sweet deed,

A trip that meets the soul’s deep need.

The rain, a downpour, fierce and wild,

Yet halts as if by heaven styled,

The moment we arrive, the skies clear wide,

Nature’s bow to the Creator’s pride.

That first night’s circle, voices raised,

Songs of unity, our hearts ablaze,

One family formed, hearts intertwined,

A merging of souls, pure and kind.

Ella’s friends, in awe they stand,

On gloomy days, the land so grand,

Nature’s beauty, the Creator’s face,

Manifest in this holy place.

Familiar faces, once just a screen,

Now alive, in love serene,

The American kli, a mighty force,

Part of Bnei Baruch’s sacred course.

In the forest’s heart, a circle forms,

Connected souls, through love transformed,

To Mother Nature, to each other bound,

One in spirit, on sacred ground.

The musical night, the gifts we share,

Warmth and joy fill the air,

Unity’s spark, a radiant glow,

Hearts aligned in a boundless flow.

Newcomers’ fire, their vibrant zeal,

Ignites the kli, makes it real,

A question to Rav, bold and true,

Their energy lifts the whole crew.

Andrew sings of hearts that melt,

In love’s vast sea, where grace is felt,

Forging a crown for the One above,

We dive into the waters of love.

The Creator’s reward, a burning desire,

To bestow, to rise, to lift ever higher.

Elliot’s wonder, a journey surreal,

Miracles carve paths where dreams feel real,

The right hand pulls, the left tests will,

Yet through the dark, we climb the hill.

The Middle Line, our choice, our way,

Balancing life, come what may.

Bill’s fervor drove him twenty-three hours,

Fueled by prayers for the Creator’s powers,

Light of faith, connection, and love,

Shining on the kli from above.

Sisters and brothers, with care they served,

Meals prepared, with love preserved,

Every detail, a testament clear,

To unity’s strength, to hearts sincere.

And when his truck met fate’s harsh call,

Bill’s heart still sang, “Thank you, Lord, for all.”

For this congress, the most profound,

Where heaven’s touch was truly found.

We leave on waves of love’s embrace,

Elevated, united, in sacred space,

One step closer to the Creator’s light,

Hearts merged as one, in eternal flight.

Baruch Hashem, for this holy bond,

In Pennsylvania’s arms, we found the beyond.

Ein Ode Milvado

Ashes to Flame

 

Ashes to Flame

The lies I hear

Scream loud in my ear

They promise, but tear me apart

Desires betray

They lead me astray

Leaving scars in the depth of my heart

The mask I wear

Is heavy with care

And it mocks every prayer that I cry

I stumble, I fall

I feel nothing at all

Just ashes and silence inside

The ego takes hold

Its grip turns cold

It laughs as I kneel in the dirt

It whispers with glee

“You’ll never break free—

Your love is a dream that won’t work.”

But then a hand breaks through

A friend pulls me true

Reminding me I’m not alone

In the pit of despair

They meet me there

And together we carve out a home

The ego fights back

It plans its attack

But we rise, one bundle, one flame

Through faith above reason

In every season

We cry out the Creator’s Name

So though I bleed

It’s love that I need

And it’s love that will carry me still

From the lowest descent

To the heights heaven-sent

His mercy fulfills every will

Through the Ashes

Through the Ashes

The lies I hear
Scream loud in my ear
They promise, but tear me apart

Desires betray
They lead me astray
Leaving scars in the depth of my heart

The mask I wear
Is heavy with care
And it mocks every prayer that I cry

I stumble, I fall
I feel nothing at all
Just ashes and silence inside

But a hand breaks through
A friend pulls me true
Reminding me I’m not alone

In the pit of despair
They meet me there
And together we carve out a home

The ego fights back
It plans its attack
But we rise, one bundle, one flame

Through faith above reason
In every season
We cry out the Creator’s Name

So though I bleed
It’s love that I need
And it’s love that will carry me still

From the lowest descent
To the heights heaven-sent
His mercy fulfills every will

The Path of Struggle

The Path of Struggle

The nights feel long

The pain feels strong

And the ego keeps whispering lies

The war within

The weight of sin

It crushes, it burns, it denies

But the heart won’t break

It learns to awake

When a friend holds your hand through the storm

Through fire and tears

Through shadows and fears

A new soul begins to form

So we fall, we rise

We tear off disguise

Till only the truth can remain

Through love we ascend

Through the strength of a friend

And eternal connection we gain

So cling to the Light

Through the darkest night

For the Creator is near all along

When the hearts unite

Faith takes its flight

And our suffering turns into song

Depart From Evil

Depart From Evil 

I spit at the mirror, I curse at the night,

The filth of my heart won’t let in the light.

I claw at the chains that tighten my breath,

Every thought that I chase just drags me to death.

I preach that I’m holy, but rot fills my veins,

My ego’s a tyrant that laughs at my pains.

I run from the shadows, they tear me apart,

I see that the devil’s been etched in my heart.

The more that I fight, the deeper I sink,

I drown in the poison I promised to drink.

My “strength” is a lie, my “virtue” a fraud,

I’m nothing but ashes without my God.

But just when I’m shattered, too broken to stand,

A whisper of mercy takes hold of my hand.

The fire is quenched, the torment is still,

The Healer restores me—according to His will.

So evil departs, not by might, not by art,

But by faith above reason and love in the heart.

Through prayer and surrender, the bondage will cease,

The darkness is broken, the soul finds its peace.

The Mountain of Fire and Love

The Mountain of Fire and Love

The mountain bled with smoke and flame,

my ego howled, consumed by shame.

It clawed my flesh, it tore my soul,

its hunger dark, a gaping hole.

The nations rose with teeth of steel,

they cursed the light, they cursed the deal.

“Bow to no law, serve lust and greed,

forget this path, let pride succeed.”

The sky was black, the earth did quake,

my heart near burst, my bones did break.

In chains of wrath I gasped for breath,

each step I took was close to death.

Yet in the pit a whisper came,

a tender spark, a holy flame.

“Unite as one, annul, embrace,

together you will find His face.”

The fire cooled, the night grew still,

my shattered will was bent to thrill.

The Torah shone, a healing dove,

and from the ash sprang endless love.

Now hand in hand, we stand above,

no fear remains, just bonds of love.

One soul, one heart, our will undone,

unconditional — we are one.

Poem of Unity in the Ten

Poem of Unity in the Ten

The greatest work is to unite as one,

To seek the Creator till the veil is gone.

In every ten the Shechina will shine,

A dwelling of mercy, a presence divine.

Each comes to his friend with a word to bestow,

To share of the path, what the heart longs to know.

Annulment in circles, each bending low,

So kindness and mercy through heaven will flow.

For more than the calf who yearns for the breast,

The Giver of life longs to grant us His rest.

He hastens to bless where intentions are pure,

Revealing His kindness that ever endures.

But hidden within is the battle unspoken,

The pride of the heart that resists being broken.

Without prayer and yearning the ten will not stand,

It turns into dust, like castles of sand.

So gather with purpose, not friendship alone,

For unity’s root is the One we enthrone.

Together we rise, above reason we climb,

The Shechina revealed in our circle sublime.

From Ketter to Binah and Binah to Malchut

From Keter to Binah, and Binah to Malchut

From Keter’s crown the light descends,

A giving flow that never bends,

Binah bows, it will not take,

Passive annulment, for Heaven’s sake.

“I need no gift, I seek no gain,

To be like You, I shun the chain,

Content to shine, content to bestow,

No hunger within, no urge below.”

But Malchut cries with burning need,

A vessel vast, a will to feed,

It cannot hide, it cannot stay,

Its heart must act, must find the way.

Active annulment, fire and fight,

To turn its darkness into light,

To use its hunger, not for “me,”

But lift it high, to “You” it’ll be.

So faith above what reason knows,

Through love of others, the river flows,

From crown to kingdom, the circle complete,

Annulment transforms the will’s deceit.

No lust, no wrath, no greed remain,

All turn to joy instead of pain,

In faith above, the souls arise,

Unconditional love now fills the skies.

Creators Image

when we build the image of the Creator in the ten,

it’s truth revealed, not a dream of men.

when friends unite and hearts ascend,

we speak of Him with no pretend.

the faith and love the Creator sends,

guide every step to holy ends.

His path is greatness, clear and vast,

through love of others wrath is cast.

anger fades when hearts repair,

lust transforms to a yearning prayer.

greed turns soft, a hunger to give,

in others’ joy we learn to live.

unconditional love, the highest light,

faith above reason, wings for flight.

together as one, our souls are drawn,

to the root of love where all is one.

Prayer of a Wounded Nation, Prayer of a Ten

Prayer of a Wounded Nation, Prayer of a Ten

The thieves sit high with hearts of stone,

they feast on flesh that’s not their own.

Insurance cheats, cartel chains,

a river of blood runs through our veins.

The widows cry, the children shake,

the righteous starve while tyrants take.

Their castles rise on stolen ground,

while justice sleeps and truth is bound.

Creator, I am torn apart,

a raging fire floods my heart.

I cannot fight them, I cannot win,

but in the Ten, we’ll rise again.

Take this fury, raw and wild,

this broken faith, this grieving child,

and weave it tight with threads of love,

to storm the gates of You above.

For only when our hearts unite,

the darkness cracks, reveals Your light.

No vengeance, Lord, no sword, no gun,

just one prayer beating, all as one.

So hear us now, we bleed, we bend,

but in connection, wounds will mend.

And all the lies, the chains, the shame,

will burn to ash inside Your flame.

Amen.

poem 6 Shamati + Psalms

Shamati 31 – Cleaving to the Light

Psalm 84 – How Lovely Is Your Dwelling Place

My soul’s desire: to cleave to Light,

To dwell where day outshines the night.

Through cracks of ego, glimpses gleam,

Of a home beyond the mortal dream.

“How lovely is,” the Psalm declares,

Your dwelling place — free from despairs.

Each heart united with Divine,

Finds rest in ways beyond time.

Not stone nor temple walls suffice,

But souls in union: pure, precise.

When ten hearts beat in unison,

The Highest Home in us is won.

We journey not for self but all,

Ascending where the lights recall,

Our sacred place of unity,

Where dwellings shine in sanctity.

Poem 5 Shamati + Psalms

Shamati 27 – Unification in the Ten

Psalm 133 – How Good and Pleasant

“How good and pleasant,” the Psalmist cried,

When brothers dwell with hearts untied.

Unity — not in words alone,

But in a soul where love is grown.

The Ten arise as mirrors true,

Reflecting self in each other’s view.

When ego fades, we find one goal:

To heal the heart, to cleanse the soul.

Like morning dew on Zion’s hills,

This union deeper meaning fills.

Our greatest ritual is not law,

But friendship’s bond that conquers flaw.

Together bound, together free,

Through giving self to harmony.

How good it is, how sweet the sound,

When Heaven’s breath on us is found.

Poem 4 Shamati + Psalms

Shamati 26 – The Inner Thought

Psalm 121 – I Lift Up My Eyes to the Hills

Each restless thought within my breast,

Seeks power, light, a fleeting rest.

Yet all thoughts rise, then fall away,

Unless the heart joins what we pray.

“I lift my eyes to hills,” he said,

But strength flows not from mount ahead.

The help I claim lies not in height,

But in shared breath, in friends’ delight.

Within the Ten, my soul takes flight,

When inner thought aligns with Light.

No lonely path, no distant call—

But unity that lifts us all.

Ever watchful, ever near,

The Inner Thought dissolves my fear.

Not in the peaks, but in the symphony,

Of hearts as one, in proximity.

Poem 3 Shamati + Psalms

Shamati 24 – He Will Save Them from the Hand of the Wicked

Psalm 51 – Create in Me a Clean Heart, O God

Ego prowls with cunning might,

Whispers chains into the night.

The wicked hand would tear apart,

But prayer breaks through a shattered heart.

“Create in me,” the Psalmist pleads,

“A heart made pure, a soul that bleeds.”

Not for myself, but for the Ten,

Renew my spirit once again.

The hand of the wicked — my will to receive,

It mocks, it tempts, it makes me grieve.

Yet when I fall, His mercy is near,

He saves, He lifts, He draws me clear.

O cleanse me deep, O hide Thy face,

Until I cling through friends’ embrace.

No sacrifice, no offering grand,

But a broken spirit in His hand.

He saves us still, His love imparts,

Through one pure cry — ten beating hearts.

Poem 2. Shamati + Psalms

Shamati 19 – What Is the Creator’s Honor in the Torah

Psalm 27 – The Lord Is My Light and My Salvation

My soul cries out, “What honor is His?”

Is it in wisdom, or knowledge, or bliss?

No — His glory dwells where hearts unite,

In vessels broken, we find His light.

“The Lord is my light,” the Psalmist sang,

Through trembling halls, his prayer out rang.

Salvation shines when self is gone,

When many become a single song.

The honor of Torah is not in the page,

But in hearts that annul, stage by stage.

I seek His beauty, I seek His face,

Through friends’ embrace, I find His grace.

Though armies rise, though doubts surround,

Within the Ten, His strength is found.

One desire — to dwell all days,

In the Creator’s house of endless praise.

Poem 1 combination of shamati and psalms in poem form

Shamati 1 – There Is None Else Besides Him

Psalm 23 – The Lord Is My Shepherd

When shadows fall and fear takes hold,

My ego whispers tales of old.

Yet in the dark, one truth I find,

No power but His shapes my mind.

He leads me down the valley deep,

Through tears I sow, through nights I weep.

Beside still waters, I hear His call,

“There is none else,” He rules it all.

The rod, the staff, they break my pride,

They wound my heart yet guard my side.

In the Ten, His table’s spread,

From bitter doubts to faith I’m fed.

Even when death’s shadow is near,

I find the Shepherd’s hand sincere.

No force but His — so I confess,

“There is none else,” my soul finds rest.

The Accuser's Dance

“The Accuser’s Dance”

It drags me low, whispers of gain,

My heart is torn by hunger and pain.

I fight alone, but always lose,

The serpent laughs at the paths I choose.

It rises high to the throne above,

Accusing me, denying love.

“You see?” it cries, “He cannot stand,

He builds on dust, not on holy land.”

I break, I fall, I cannot pretend,

Without my brothers there is no end.

But in the Ten, a spark ignites,

Together we wrestle the endless night.

First comes Hitbatlut—I bow my head,

My pride dissolves, my self is dead.

Then Hitkalelut—I weave with friends,

Their voices heal, the fracture mends.

And Hitpa’alut—their fire burns,

From their devotion, my soul returns.

The accuser flees, the cry takes flight,

A prayer is born in the heart’s twilight.

Now rise, my friends, as one we call,

Creator hears the plea of all.

From descent to ascent, the secret’s clear:

Through unity alone, the Light draws near.

The Three H’s in My Heart

The Three H’s in My Heart

In the silence I bow, my will undone,

Hitbatlut whispers: “You are none.”

I break on the stones of my stubborn pride,

The tears are rivers where I hide.

Yet in the Ten, a spark takes flight,

Hitkalalut blends my dark with light.

Inclusion burns, both wound and balm,

Their voices storm, then bring me calm.

But oh, the cries that tear my soul,

Faith demands I pay the toll.

Love is forged in suffering’s flame,

I lose myself to find His Name.

Hitpa’alut—enliven me still!

Through endless nights, a trembling will.

Pain is holy, faith is fire,

In this love, I rise higher.

So let me die a thousand ways,

And live anew through endless days.

In three H’s my spirit bends—

The path of sorrow that never ends.

Yet in that breaking, hearts are one,

A prayer complete, His will is done.

When Ego Yields

As I ready to lay my head at night,

I’m filled with visions of love and fright,

Not knowing whether to run and hide,

Or face the ego’s horrific pride.

I set my intention to only bestow,

It’s not about what you think you know

It’s how to turn all that wrath,

Into the steps of  faith’s path.

Through shadows deep my spirit bends,

Where brokenness secretly mends,

Each tear a prayer, each sigh a song,

That lifts me to where I belong.

So let me rise above despair,

With every breath, a whispered prayer,

Till all the night is bathed in light,

And ego yields to love’s true might.

The Storm and the Kiss

The Storm and the Kiss

I lit a candle, small and weak,

The storm just laughed: “That’s not what you seek.”

It blew it out with a wicked grin,

“Come closer, fool, the game begins.”

---

My lust stood tall with hungry eyes,

Promising flesh, forgetting skies.

It whispered hot, “Forget His name,

There’s sweeter fire, there’s easier flame.”

But pain arrived, a faithful thief,

It robbed my rest, it tore belief.

Still, in the wound, a voice was near,

“Through broken bones, My Light appears.”

---

Suffering dressed in bridal white,

Danced with me deep into the night.

A kiss of salt, a whip of flame,

Yet every lash still cried Your name.

---

And humor came, drunk clown of fate,

He tripped me hard at heaven’s gate.

I cursed, I laughed, the angels cheered,

The demons bowed, the storm grew weird.

---

Creator, You sly comedian, You,

You wound with left, then heal with blue.

You tempt, You trick, You strike, You shove,

Yet all is stitched with secret love.

---

For though I fall, I still adore,

The lips that wound, the hands that war.

The thunder breaks, the lightning burns,

But in its eye—Your mercy turns.

---

So storm me, bind me, mock my cry,

I’ll love You still until I die.

Through lust and laughter, pain and shame,

My soul is Yours, through fire, through flame.

And when I drown, or rise above,

I’ll storm with You, my storm of love.

The Ten as Sefirot

Ten friends together, one circle of flame,

Each shines a facet, though none are the same.

One gives with kindness, another with might,

Together they weave the Creator’s Light.

Alone we are fragments, confused and apart,

But joined we discover one vessel, one heart.

Like colors refracting through sapphire’s face,

We fashion a prism for infinite grace.

At times I am Hod, in silence I bend,

At times I am Netzach, determined to end.

Another is Tiferet, harmonies blend,

Malchut receives all that upward we send.

No friend is complete in the work on his own,

But each is a Sefira, a spark that is sown.

And when we unite with no self in between,

The Light of the Infinite fills us unseen.

So bind us together, O Father above,

Correct us through mercy, through strength, and through love.

Let ten become one, as Your wisdom has taught,

A soul made of Sefirot, living and wrought.

The Hidden Script

Ancient names carved in clay and stone,

Anunnaki, angels—forces unknown.

Were they beings, or codes in disguise,

Programs of will in the Creator’s eyes?

They whisper through myths, through temples and scrolls,

Of life once vast, of unmeasured souls.

Yet sages declare with a steady hand,

It’s not gods of earth, but the One command.

Our bodies hold letters, a silent song,

DNA scripts that sleep for long.

Experts call it “junk,” yet others say,

It hides our powers, locked away.

But no hand of Thoth, nor science’s key,

Can force the gates of eternity.

For these strands awaken when hearts align,

In love of another, the light will shine.

Kinetic gifts, a prophetic sight,

Are sparks revealed in the upper light.

Not tricks for the self, but tools to restore,

The bond of the soul to its root once more.

So seek not the gods of forgotten lands,

But gather your brothers, join hands.

For only in love, the sages say clear,

The dormant awakens, the angels appear.