Psalms In The Heart

“Fear That Gives Birth to Joy” I thought fear was shadows, chains, and cold, A trembling heart afraid to step out bold. I thought joy was laughter, light, and song, Never knew the two could walk along. I feared the pain, the loss, the shame, I feared being called by Heaven’s name. But deeper still, a quieter cry— What if I take… and sever “why”? Not fear of blows, not fear of fire, But fear my hands betray desire. That I receive just for my sake, And split the bond I ache to make. The Light stands still, it never flees, No change above—only in me. The screen is thin, the heart is small, Yet still He waits… through every fall. The earth is full of glory bright, Yet I walk blind in borrowed sight. Faith above reason, dry and tight, Until the fear guards truth at night. Not fear of lack, not fear of loss, But fear of stepping off the cross— Of bestowal, love, restraint, Where ego screams and faith feels faint. And there—right there—the miracle starts, Fear builds vessels out of shards. Fr...

The War In The Heart We live in the moment, but exist in our thoughts We engage in the war, with many battles fought Never realizing the battles in the heart Is where every true victory starts We blame the world, the noise, the pain The bills, the phones, the loss, the rain But the real fight hides deep inside Where ego rules and truth must hide I wake up early, coffee in hand Smile on my face, barely can stand I join the lesson, camera on While inside me the war goes on I want to love, I want to give But I also want what helps me live Two voices pulling, night and day One says “take,” the other “pray” The heart is a field where armies meet Desire and faith, retreat and repeat And every friend is a mirror I see Showing the war that lives in me When I fall, the Ten lifts me up When I’m empty, they fill my cup Not with answers, not with blame But shared effort, loss, and flame So I don’t run from the inner fight I bring it to friends, into the light Because the war was never “ou...

Verse 1 – Keter (Morning / Awakening) I wake up stirred by a whisper I can’t name Coffee still brewing, heart already in flame Didn’t ask for this pull, didn’t plan this call Something inside says, “Get up — that’s all” The light comes first, no question, no why Just a tap on the soul as the day goes by No merit, no effort, no crown on my head Just breath in my chest and a path ahead Verse 2 – Chokhmah (Early Day / Inspiration) I feel it rush in, I’m alive and I’m strong Everything’s clear, nothing feels wrong The lesson hits hard, the friends feel close I swear to myself, “This time I’ll coast” I want it all, every spark, every taste Fill me up fast, don’t let it go to waste But the more I receive, the less I can see This light ain’t mine — it’s carrying me Verse 3 – Binah (Midday / Resistance) Then comes the weight, like a hand on my chest Suddenly stopping, suddenly rest I don’t wanna take, I don’t wanna lie If He’s the Giver — then who am I? I pull back hard, build walls in my mind...

Learning to Love (With The Ten) I've traveled the world, and fought with might I've sailed the seas, searching for light But through my journeys, filled with plight Learning to love is what fills my sight Joining the Ten of courageous men Who fight to the last of what’s within Each battle a chance to finally see The evil nature inside of me I thought the war was out there to win With fists, with pride, with borrowed sin But every road I tried to outrun Led back to the war I hadn’t begun The enemy spoke with my own voice Dressed every demand up as “choice” He quoted truth to justify theft And called it faith when nothing was left In the Ten I broke, in the Ten I fell Every friend a mirror of hell Not hell of fire, but self-concern Where every desire just wants return Yet there—right there—in the shared despair A quiet force filled the air Not power, not pride, not being right Just hearts agreeing to aim at Light We lost ourselves, and something grew A strength no victory ever k...

Responsibility For The Ten We wake and shower and dress We say our prayers before looking at the mess We look at the messages from the ten And wake up again… and begin Bills on the table, phone in the hand Another long day we didn’t plan The ego screams, “Just take care of you” But the heart remembers what it’s here to do The mind wants quiet, comfort, escape The path wants effort, connection, and faith I want to run, disappear, pretend But my soul is tied to the friends When one is heavy, we all feel the weight When one is late, we all learn to wait No one escapes this invisible thread We rise or we fall by the words that are said It’s not about strength, wisdom, or skill It’s showing up when you don’t have the will A message, a prayer, a simple “I’m here” Can pull a friend out of darkness and fear The Creator hides in the space between My broken heart and the ten unseen I don’t fix them, I don’t know how I just choose them—again—right now Every problem that lands in my day Is an invi...

Title: “Seventy Names, One King” I didn’t come holy, I came in pieces, Seventy hungers with crooked leases. Each one screaming, “I matter first,” Each one dressed as a blessing or curse. Chesed gives so it can be seen, Gevurah cuts like a judgment machine. Tiferet cries, “Why me again?” Netzach must win, even over friends. Hod bows low but keeps the score, Yesod binds tight just to need you more. Malchut sits heavy, empty, and loud, Says, “Fill me now,” with its head unbowed. I tried to crush them, starve them, deny, But the ego don’t die — it just learns to lie. So the work got honest, bitter, and real: I stopped fixing myself and started to feel. Each flaw rose up between me and you, That’s how I knew what the Klipa can do. Not to destroy me, not to disgrace— But to beg for a place in the light of His face. So I gather the mess, the envy, the blame, All seventy voices, every name. I don’t clean them — I lift them whole: “Creator, clothe this will to receive in soul.”