I Trust The System

 

Title: “I Trust the System”

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I don’t feel love, I feel the grind

A thousand doubts assault the mind

Yet something deeper holds the reins

A silent truth that still remains

Not hope, not mood, not lifted heart

But knowing where the laws all start

Baal HaSulam drew the design

Cause and effect, precise, aligned

The Light reforms, the vessel lacks

The Ten reveals the inner cracks

I don’t invent, I don’t pretend

I trust the road the sages penned

Rabash said walk where you don’t feel

Where every urge says this ain’t real

But stay because the system’s true

Not because it feels good to you

This isn’t faith that floats on air

It’s weight that keeps me standing there

A frequency beneath the thought

That whispers truth when nothing’s taught

I don’t feel bestowal in my chest

I feel resistance put to test

But deeper still, below the pain

I know this work is not in vain

So prayer is born not from despair

But trust the Light is always there

The lack is real, the law is fixed

Correction comes — not chance, but mix

Heart screams run, mind says fake

But faith says stay — don’t disengage

Not blind belief, but inner sight

That knows the system works by Light

We Are Not Here To Comfort You

 We Are Not Here to Comfort You

We are not here to warm your heart,

Or play the role of some soft start.

We are not mirrors for your pain,

Nor proof your inner work’s “insane.”

We will not shine when you arrive,

Or stroke the spark that wants to thrive.

We won’t reward your tears or fire,

Or bow to depth, or gift, or wire.

We are the place your heart resists,

Where nothing moves and nothing lifts.

Where all are equal, stripped and plain,

And staying costs more than the gain.

Here no one’s special, wide, or deep,

Here only promises we keep.

Not with emotion, not with sound,

But with our feet stuck to the ground.

If you remain when warmth is gone,

When every reason says move on,

Then without knowing how or when,

Your heart belongs — not you — but Ten.

And when the Light at last appears,

It won’t feel earned, or owed, or clear.

It will arrive because we stayed,

While self was silent… and love was made.

The Heart That Won't Open (For the Sake of Connection)

 The Heart That Won’t Open (For the Sake of Connection)

The heart won’t open when warmth is near,

It opens where there’s nothing to feel but fear.

Not fear of pain, or loss, or shame,

But losing the right to remain the same.

It beats just fine for a song or a scene,

For heroes redeemed and what might have been.

Tears flow easy when stories resolve,

When good beats bad and the plot evolves.

But place that heart among equal men,

No spotlight, no crown, no “better than,”

And suddenly silence fills the chest,

No fire, no tears, no sweetness left.

Because here no one claps, no ending is shown,

No one is special, no one alone.

Here love is demanded without reward,

Here warmth is built, not felt or adored.

The heart resists not hatred or strife,

But surrendering authorship over its life.

It trembles where no emotion appears,

Where choice replaces joy, and faith replaces tears.

So it locks itself tight, not out of spite,

But to guard the self from dissolving outright.

For love of friends costs more than belief—

It costs the self, stripped bare of relief.

And yet, right there, in the hollow and dry,

Where no one feels and no reasons apply,

A space is carved, unseen, unheard,

Prepared for a Light that’s never inferred.

Not warmth that arrives to comfort the soul,

But truth that appears when the many are whole.

And when that heart breaks — not open, but through —

Connection is born, quiet, real, and true.