Psalms In The Heart

The Thoughts I Swear Are Mine I wake up swinging before my feet hit the floor Heart on guard like it’s been here before Every sound a threat, every glance a test Every breath measured—no time to rest Coffee tastes like worry, news tastes like war Even silence feels loud to the core I call it instinct, I call it “me” But it’s always choosing who I should be Fight if I’m cornered, flee if I’m weak Win the argument, or don’t even speak Every memory sharpened into a blade Every joy taxed, every pleasure delayed I swear these thoughts are mine alone Built of flesh and blood and bone Don’t tell me different, don’t cross that line Ain’t nobody telling me these ain’t mine But watch it closer—real slow, real tight Same reactions morning and night Same heat in the chest, same closing jaw Same story repeated like unbroken law It tastes like fear with a prideful grin Smells like control dressed up as “win” Feels like pressure behind the eyes Like I must defend just to stay alive Then one day—nothi...

Torn between desire and fate Filled with rage and hate Wanting to break totally free From all this evil inside of me I wake up tired before the day begins Fighting the weight of my wants and sins Bills on the table, blame in my head Words I regret that I wish I never said I say I want truth, but I bargain for ease I pray for connection, then beg for my peace I swear I’m done running, then turn at the gate Cursing the road while I tempt my own fate The ego screams loud, “This pain isn’t fair” It counts every loss and keeps perfect repair It says, “You deserve more—why suffer this way?” So I feed it excuses and call it a day But somewhere between the collapse and the cry A quieter question slips gently by “If not for yourself, then who will you be When the work demands honesty?” I start to see cracks where the light gets in Not fixing the mess, just owning the sin I stop asking why this weight is mine And ask how to walk it one step at a time The rage slows down, becomes something ...