Coming Anyway

---

Coming Anyway

I didn’t want to come, I’ll tell it straight,

My body fought, my mind was late.

Same road again, same inner war,

I asked myself, what am I going for?

I’ve been here dozens, year on year,

Still walking in with quiet fear.

No fire packed, no strength to show,

Just empty hands and debts I owe.

I come with nothing, no good name,

No clever prayer, no holy flame.

What once felt full is cracked and thin,

A cup that leaks from every sin.

I tried alone—thought I was strong,

That quiet path didn’t last long.

The work slipped private, soft, and sly,

And truth be told… I started to die.

So here I am, not brave, not new,

Still not knowing what to do.

Years went by, yet here I stand,

Still learning how to take a hand.

I didn’t come to fix or teach,

Didn’t come with Light to preach.

I came because I couldn’t stay

One more day the ego’s way.

And truth be known—this cut me deep—

I don’t come now for what I keep.

I come because the friends still breathe,

Because their lack still pulls on me.

If they fall, I fall as well,

No private heaven, no private hell.

Their heart is where my prayer must live,

Their strength the only thing I give.

So take this nothing that I bring,

This tired will, this broken thing.

If Light appears, let it be found

Between our cracks, on common ground.

I didn’t come because I’m sure,

I came because there is no cure

Except this place, this Ten, this cry—

To come together… or pass by.

For Those Who Are Searching

For Those Who Are Searching

I searched for truth without a name,

Just knowing something felt the same.

The world explained, but never knew

The questions burning straight through.

I read the signs, I watched the stars,

Heard whispered truths from tarot cards.

I chased the hidden, chased the deep,

Through things awake and things asleep.

I healed with hands, I breathed in forms,

Learned how to stand inside the storms.

I fought, I flowed, I learned control,

Still felt a hunger in my soul.

Each path gave light, each path gave taste,

But something vital went to waste.

Because the center stayed as me,

The will to take, not truly see.

I didn’t know what I was missing,

Just felt the ache that kept insisting.

I wasn’t lost — I just was blind

To what was asking from behind.

Truth wasn’t hidden in the sky,

Nor found by asking “who am I?”

It waited where I wouldn’t look —

Where I must give, not merely took.

I didn’t find it by demand,

It came when I let go my hand.

When “why” grew tired of being fed,

And bowed instead of raising head.

So if you’re searching, worn and sore,

And nothing satisfies anymore —

Don’t quit, don’t settle, don’t despair,

Your lack is proof you’re almost there.

You’re not confused, you’re not too late,

You’re standing at a certain gate.

Not one you enter by belief,

But by releasing self-conceit.

Truth isn’t something you can chase,

It meets you when you change your place.

When what you seek is no longer for you,

That’s when the truth starts seeking you.

What Does It Take

What Does It Take

Once upon a time,
without reason or rhyme,
people would sit and discuss,
no arguments, no fuss.

But then something changed,
like the world rearranged,
opinions turned into knives,
everyone fighting for their lives.

Now instead of conversation,
there’s outright hate—no illumination,
every word a loaded gun,
no one listening to anyone.

So what does it take
to come back to that place,
where sharing a vision or view
isn’t a crime for walking through?

I don’t understand why it’s this way,
maybe we forgot how to pray—
forgot that truth is not a win,
it’s what lets the light back in.

Give It Away

“Give It Away”

I remember You before I had a name

Before this dust, before this shame

A whisper carved inside my chest

A love I knew, then lost, then left

You filled me whole, no crack, no seam

No “I” or “You,” just One unseen

Then something shattered deep inside

And I woke up alone… alive

This world—an abyss, cold and wide

Where memory burns but won’t subside

I walk with sparks I cannot claim

Reshimot screaming Your old name

I reach for You in every face

But find the lack, not Your embrace

The more I take, the more I break

The more I beg, the less I make

I curse the fall, I curse the day

I curse this heart that won’t obey

Yet even rage is stitched with pain

Because loss proves love once reigned

You hid Yourself so I could see

What love costs when it’s not free

You broke me not to watch me crawl

But so I’d learn to love through all

Now hear me from this shattered place

I don’t ask back what time erased

I don’t demand You fill my cup

I’ve learned—love rises when I give it up

So I take this ache, this holy scar

And offer it just as we are

To every soul I once was part

To every broken, missing heart

If there’s something I want to know

Something I want to feel and grow

Like that old Texas truth I found—

You give it away… or it won’t come around

So take my love, Creator mine

Not upward—sideways, friend to friend

Let it pass through these hands of dust

Until all fragments trust again

And when the last lost spark feels whole

And love flows back without control

We won’t say “You” and “me” apart—

Just One… remembering the heart

Satisfied With What You Gave

---

“Satisfied With What You Gave”

I wanted peace, I wanted ease

I wanted pain to finally freeze

But every prayer I thought was clean

Was hiding deals I’d never seen

I said “Unite us, nothing more”

But still I knocked on ego’s door

It hates to ache, it hates to stay

It twists the truth to run away

Hindi (quiet, aching):

Jo mila hai, wahi kaafi hai

(What I’ve been given is enough)

Turkish (firm, grounded):

Verdiğin hâl yeter bana

(The state You gave is enough for me)

The will to receive don’t want to die

It just don’t want to suffer, cry

It dresses need in holy clothes

And calls escape “the path I chose”

Florida whispered in my ear

“Go there, you’ll breathe, the pain will clear”

But underneath that sacred plea

Was fear pretending faith in me

Hindi (confession):

Dard se bhaagna bhakti nahi

(Running from pain is not devotion)

Turkish (exposure):

Acıdan kaçmak, ihsan değil

(Escaping pain is not bestowal)

So here I stand with empty hands

No bargains left, no backup plans

If this is lack, then let it burn

I don’t demand, I only turn

Unite us — not to feel okay

Unite us — even if I stay

Right in the pressure, no relief

Make truth my joy, not stolen belief

Hindi (surrender):

Jo tu chaahe, wahi chaah

(What You want, let that be my want)

Turkish (adhesion):

İstediğin, benim isteğim olsun

(Let Your desire become my desire)

Between the friends, not in my skin

That’s where the Light must enter in

Correct the space, not how I feel

Make us as one — that’s what is real