Psalms In The Heart

“According to the Sorrow (So Is the Laugh)” We showed up holy, hearts full of flame, Said “Love thy neighbor” — meant “love the same.” But halfway through the spiritual ride, The ego stole the keys and went for a joyride. We opened the books, Zohar on the dash, But the will to receive said, “Let’s make it a cash.” We wanted Dvekut, straight to the sky, But the body said, “First let’s get coffee and pie.” We joined the Ten, said “We annul today,” Then argued for twenty on who gets their way. We sang about bestowal, mercy, and light, Then secretly counted who shined more in the night. The spies came whispering, smooth as can be, “Why work for nothing? Look at me — I’m free.” “Before you were happy, fat, and well fed, Now you’re chasing some Light you’ve never once seen instead.” We said “No reward, we serve just for love,” Then checked the scoreboard with the angels above. “Are we closer yet? Did the Creator respond?” While refreshing the app called Ego.com . The sorrow got thicker...

Rock Bottom Is the Meeting Place Emptiness is the floor where I finally fall, Rock bottom is the room with no walls at all. Every dream I defended, every hope I rehearsed, Either failed in my hands or was stripped by the curse. I arrive here not strong, but ashamed to be seen, Seeing clearly the distance between You and me. Not because I am righteous or suddenly wise, But because I can’t carry this lie anymore inside. So I pray, not knowing this was all You asked, Not perfection, not victory, not spiritual masks. Just to need You, to want You, to speak every day, To sit in Your presence with nothing to say. Through ascents I discover I’m empty of light, Through descents I uncover the depth of the fight. The Will To Receive shows its infinite face, And I see there is nowhere to run, nowhere safe. No action can break it, no effort, no art, No knowledge, no work, no clever heart. Only one thing defeats it, and leaves me intact— A prayer from the place where I finally crack. Not a prayer f...

  Three Times, One Heart   We were broken before we even knew why, Running from questions we couldn’t deny. The past still whispers, what brought you here? Was it truth, or just hunger dressed up as fear? We said we came for the Light, for the Name, But the heart keeps checking, what’s in it for me to gain? And every day the body stands as a judge, Saying, this road is too hard, you will never budge. Yet we stay, not because it feels sweet, But because without this, life tastes like defeat. We learn that love is not comfort or prize, It’s choosing the path where the ego dies. The present is fire, a war in the chest, Prayer in the heart, no moment of rest. Torah as medicine, bitter and kind, Healing the wound we don’t want to find. And mercy is hands that forget how to take, Lending our hearts for the others’ sake. Not charity for a crown or a name, But to build a world where no one feels shame. The future is calling from beyond what we see, Saying, you’re rich already, j...

Serving the Friends We came with hearts that only knew demand, Each one a kingdom, each one a land. We wanted light, we wanted to feel, But learned the first truth: we’re broken and real. We sit in circles, words on our lips, But inside the ego still tightens its grips. We speak of love, of unity’s tone, Yet feel how alone is carved in the bone. So we begin not with lofty prayer, But with simple acts of being there. To listen when tired, to show up dry, To lift the friends when we want to hide. We justify, even when it burns, We bow to the lesson each failure returns. We pray for their strength, their ascent, their light, Even when our own hearts feel locked in the night. We do the small things no one sees, The boring work, the inner pleas. We swallow pride, we cancel claim, We choose the group over personal flame. And slowly we notice a silent change, Not in the world, but in our range. Less about what we get or own, More about building a shared unknown. We finally see what the work i...

  “Beautiful, Not Enough” I look back now at roads I rode blind, Every truth I chased already designed. Every faith, every rule, every way I’d roam, Were branches reaching back toward the same home. I drank from wells I didn’t yet name, Called it wisdom, called it luck, called it pain. Now I see the root beneath every belief, And the beauty of it all cuts sharp like grief. Because knowing the source don’t quiet the thirst, It just shows you the hunger was there first. It’s gorgeous to see how the pieces align, Still my heart keeps knocking, “Not this—something fine.” I write from the ego, loud, cracked, and proud, And from the small whisper that won’t shout. Two hands on the wheel, same road, same flame, One wants the credit, one erases the name. The travels don’t end, they deepen the ask, They slow down the steps but harden the task. Passion grows steady, patience grows wide, Persistence is born where the tears don’t hide. So I bless every step that didn’t feel right, Every ...

  Beginning in Lo Lishma I came to the work with pockets full of need, Looking for comfort, reward, and a place to succeed. I opened the book with myself in the frame, And called it devotion while feeding my name. I learned for the light, for the calm, for the gain, For answers to soften the edges of pain. I dressed up my ego in verses and prayer, And told myself holiness lived over there. I worked for protection, for heaven, for fear, For a future reward that would finally be clear. I said “for the Creator,” but deep in my chest, I was measuring progress by how I felt best. Then the work kept working and wouldn’t comply, Each reason I leaned on would rot and run dry. The sweetness went bitter, the fire went cold, And every why cracked what I thought I still held. The mirror got honest, the ground fell away, Even “spiritual pleasure” had nothing to say. I saw every motive I tried to defend Was just self-love dressed up as a means to an end. And there, in the wreckage of reas...