Psalms In The Heart

  “Which Horse You Ride” The changes in the world are strange at best People argue and fight, releasing the ego's nest Never realizing that’s one of the ego's tools When they use it, it leaves us feeling like fools When we stop, think and decide Which horse you're gonna ride The one that bucks and kicks you off Or the one that whispers so nice and soft One runs on anger, pride, and fear It shouts so loud you think it's clear It promises power, respect, and fame But leaves you empty, full of blame The other is quiet, you barely hear It speaks through love, draws friends near It asks for nothing, just to give And shows the only way to live One horse runs wild, tearing apart The other rides straight through the heart One throws you down in dust and pain The other walks you home again So look at the reins you hold so tight Ask who is leading in this fight The ego screams, “Take all you can!” The soul just whispers, “Love your man.”

  Born into a system with two sets of rules One all for self and the other to give away all your jewels One is awake and the other asleep One wants to give and the other to keep The trick is to step back and see What is fighting for your power complete Two voices inside, both pulling the reins One promises pleasure, the other brings pains One builds a prison you never can see The other unlocks what you’re meant to be The one that takes whispers, “Think only of you” The one that gives asks, “What can love do?” One feeds the hunger that never is filled The other grows quiet where faith can be built So stand in the middle, don’t run, don’t pretend Just watch who is speaking, and who is your friend For power is chosen in each breath you make To give for the truth, while the ego takes

Envy, Lust and Honor, gifts from above Showing us how to use them to promote love We can use them for corporal desires But the second you do you extinguish the fire Chasing the body, the praise, and the throne Leaves a man empty, cold, and alone You fill up the pockets but starve the soul Each selfish step digs a deeper hole But envy the friends and the path that they take Lust for connection that none can fake Honor the ones who walk truthfully near And suddenly love begins to appear Oh turn that fire, let it rise up high Lift the friends’ hearts to the open sky What burned for self now lights the way Love in the ten grows day by day What once burned wild for self and for gain Now warms the heart and softens the pain The same fierce fire that once pulled apart Now lights the ten and ignites the heart See the ten as new with each sunrise No fault in the friend, just mirrors for the eyes Take their desires, make them your own Raise them together to the One on the throne Oh turn th...

 Climbing The Mountain Of ME A man walks proud, says, “I’m strong, I’m fine,” But trips on the same old wants every time. He swears he’s good, he means no harm, Then grabs for self with a greedy arm. A hill shows up, but it’s no small mound, It’s a mountain of “me” piled high on the ground. Each thought for self, each secret deal, Stacks one more rock the heart must feel. He fights that hill, slips on the clay, Curses the dark that blocks the way. Shouts at the sky, “Why me? Why now?” While feeding the beast he won’t disavow. Then comes the spice, so plain, so light, Not a sword, not a grand big fight. Just words of Torah, a quiet flame, That slowly tames the inner shame. The evil voice don’t die or flee, It just sits down more quietly. Still grins, still waits, still wants its share, But now there’s help in the air. So man keeps walking, bruised but true, With love in sight and work to do. The hill is self, the path is above— A brutal road, all wrapped in love.

 We gather to connect, not for comfort, not for fame, But to build a place where the Creator can reveal His Name. There is no other goal, no side road, no clever disguise, Only the bond between hearts where the true connection lies. He holds us together in ways we don’t yet feel, Gives us the texts, the path, the hunger that is real. Like arms around a child that we’re too numb to see, His embrace is constant, but we lack the sensitivity. Everything in me, every thought, every fall, every climb, I attribute to Him, in the Ten and alone in time. Each friend a doorway, each moment a hidden sign, That nothing in this life was ever truly mine. Until the day arrives when the veil is finally torn, And the revelation within the connection is born. A person must yearn, must ache, must plead from deep inside, For the moment the Creator no longer has to hide. At first I search for the friend, for a hand I can hold, For warmth in the circle, for hearts that are bold. But slowly it changes...

  The Judge in My Chest I put on a robe like I’m holy and wise, But the judge in my chest sees straight through the disguise. I rule in my favor, I bend every law, Then gasp in pure shock at the faults that I saw. I pound on the table, “I’m righteous! I’m right!” While feeding my ego all day and all night. I sentence the world for the things that they do, Then quietly pardon the same things in me too. I call it “bestowal,” I call it “the climb,” But most of the time I’m just serving my slime. I polish my halo, adjust it just so, While hiding the horns that continue to grow. The truth is a mirror I try to avoid, It shows me how much of my love is employed To serve only self with a sweet holy grin, While whispering prayers through a mouth full of sin. I judge all the friends like I’m seated above, Yet starve them inside of the smallest of love. Then cry to the heavens, “Why don’t I feel light?” While blocking the door with my own inner fight. But the Judge never shouts, never s...

 Covenant to My Ten From our connection comes rejection, nowhere to hide, I pledge to stay standing right here at your side, When ego rises and pushes apart, I will not run from the work of the heart. When distance appears and the darkness is shown, I will remember I’m never alone, For every resistance the soul must face Is the Creator preparing a place. I pledge now to hold to the line, To see all your greatness and make it mine, To bow to the friends when pride wants to win, And ask for the strength to include us within. If anger or judgment begins to arise, I’ll fight for our love, not the ego’s disguise, I’ll pray for your hearts before praying for me, That in our connection the Creator will be. No matter the fall, the shame, or the strain, I p;edge here to return again, To build what we can’t as one man alone— A place in our bond where He makes His home.

  “Two Actions in the Dark” When the light fades out and the heart feels tight, And the road ahead disappears from sight, The fall is not to break the soul apart, But to pull a prayer from deep in the heart. Do not agree with the dark that you feel, Do not accept it as something that's real, Hold to the friends, to the path, to the plea, And cry for the One who sets you free.

 we fall into a hole and cant get out go ahead scream and shout it does no good because the hole your in is the separation you feel within that separation between the Creator and you because we let desires of reception seep through we dug it deep with every selfish plea till the light was hidden, and we could not see we claw at the walls with hands full of fear but the way out was always quietly near not by strength, and not by might but by turning the heart back toward the light for the hole was never made of earth and clay it was built from the times we turned away each thought for self, each moment of pride stacked the stones that sealed us inside but the second a prayer breaks out from the core a crack appears in that prison floor and through that crack a thin light streams awakening forgotten dreams then hand in hand with the friends we call a rope of love is lowered into the hole and pulling together, heart by heart the climb to adhesion can finally start

  Reading Between the Lines The Torah comes quiet, it don’t shout or shine, But it slowly starts draining what once felt like “mine.” The strength that felt solid begins to feel thin, Like a war you keep fighting but never can win. You sit with the pages, the words feel so deep, Yet something inside you just wants to go sleep. The body gets heavy, the thoughts start to roam, The will to receive says, “Just leave it, go home.” But Rabash is whispering under the sound, “It's not your true strength that is being worn down.” It’s the pride that is cracking, the self standing tall, That strength has to weaken so love can be called. You read and you read but the letters don’t say, The real work is hidden in what fades away. The harder it feels, the more empty you stand, The more you're being shaped by a higher hand. Alone you grow tired, your fire burns thin, The battles feel heavy, you can’t seem to win. But sit with the friends and the air starts to change, A power appears tha...

“According to the Sorrow (So Is the Laugh)” We showed up holy, hearts full of flame, Said “Love thy neighbor” — meant “love the same.” But halfway through the spiritual ride, The ego stole the keys and went for a joyride. We opened the books, Zohar on the dash, But the will to receive said, “Let’s make it a cash.” We wanted Dvekut, straight to the sky, But the body said, “First let’s get coffee and pie.” We joined the Ten, said “We annul today,” Then argued for twenty on who gets their way. We sang about bestowal, mercy, and light, Then secretly counted who shined more in the night. The spies came whispering, smooth as can be, “Why work for nothing? Look at me — I’m free.” “Before you were happy, fat, and well fed, Now you’re chasing some Light you’ve never once seen instead.” We said “No reward, we serve just for love,” Then checked the scoreboard with the angels above. “Are we closer yet? Did the Creator respond?” While refreshing the app called Ego.com . The sorrow got thicker...

Rock Bottom Is the Meeting Place Emptiness is the floor where I finally fall, Rock bottom is the room with no walls at all. Every dream I defended, every hope I rehearsed, Either failed in my hands or was stripped by the curse. I arrive here not strong, but ashamed to be seen, Seeing clearly the distance between You and me. Not because I am righteous or suddenly wise, But because I can’t carry this lie anymore inside. So I pray, not knowing this was all You asked, Not perfection, not victory, not spiritual masks. Just to need You, to want You, to speak every day, To sit in Your presence with nothing to say. Through ascents I discover I’m empty of light, Through descents I uncover the depth of the fight. The Will To Receive shows its infinite face, And I see there is nowhere to run, nowhere safe. No action can break it, no effort, no art, No knowledge, no work, no clever heart. Only one thing defeats it, and leaves me intact— A prayer from the place where I finally crack. Not a prayer f...

  Three Times, One Heart   We were broken before we even knew why, Running from questions we couldn’t deny. The past still whispers, what brought you here? Was it truth, or just hunger dressed up as fear? We said we came for the Light, for the Name, But the heart keeps checking, what’s in it for me to gain? And every day the body stands as a judge, Saying, this road is too hard, you will never budge. Yet we stay, not because it feels sweet, But because without this, life tastes like defeat. We learn that love is not comfort or prize, It’s choosing the path where the ego dies. The present is fire, a war in the chest, Prayer in the heart, no moment of rest. Torah as medicine, bitter and kind, Healing the wound we don’t want to find. And mercy is hands that forget how to take, Lending our hearts for the others’ sake. Not charity for a crown or a name, But to build a world where no one feels shame. The future is calling from beyond what we see, Saying, you’re rich already, j...

Serving the Friends We came with hearts that only knew demand, Each one a kingdom, each one a land. We wanted light, we wanted to feel, But learned the first truth: we’re broken and real. We sit in circles, words on our lips, But inside the ego still tightens its grips. We speak of love, of unity’s tone, Yet feel how alone is carved in the bone. So we begin not with lofty prayer, But with simple acts of being there. To listen when tired, to show up dry, To lift the friends when we want to hide. We justify, even when it burns, We bow to the lesson each failure returns. We pray for their strength, their ascent, their light, Even when our own hearts feel locked in the night. We do the small things no one sees, The boring work, the inner pleas. We swallow pride, we cancel claim, We choose the group over personal flame. And slowly we notice a silent change, Not in the world, but in our range. Less about what we get or own, More about building a shared unknown. We finally see what the work i...

  “Beautiful, Not Enough” I look back now at roads I rode blind, Every truth I chased already designed. Every faith, every rule, every way I’d roam, Were branches reaching back toward the same home. I drank from wells I didn’t yet name, Called it wisdom, called it luck, called it pain. Now I see the root beneath every belief, And the beauty of it all cuts sharp like grief. Because knowing the source don’t quiet the thirst, It just shows you the hunger was there first. It’s gorgeous to see how the pieces align, Still my heart keeps knocking, “Not this—something fine.” I write from the ego, loud, cracked, and proud, And from the small whisper that won’t shout. Two hands on the wheel, same road, same flame, One wants the credit, one erases the name. The travels don’t end, they deepen the ask, They slow down the steps but harden the task. Passion grows steady, patience grows wide, Persistence is born where the tears don’t hide. So I bless every step that didn’t feel right, Every ...

  Beginning in Lo Lishma I came to the work with pockets full of need, Looking for comfort, reward, and a place to succeed. I opened the book with myself in the frame, And called it devotion while feeding my name. I learned for the light, for the calm, for the gain, For answers to soften the edges of pain. I dressed up my ego in verses and prayer, And told myself holiness lived over there. I worked for protection, for heaven, for fear, For a future reward that would finally be clear. I said “for the Creator,” but deep in my chest, I was measuring progress by how I felt best. Then the work kept working and wouldn’t comply, Each reason I leaned on would rot and run dry. The sweetness went bitter, the fire went cold, And every why cracked what I thought I still held. The mirror got honest, the ground fell away, Even “spiritual pleasure” had nothing to say. I saw every motive I tried to defend Was just self-love dressed up as a means to an end. And there, in the wreckage of reas...

  “Highway with No Exits (Hibur)” The road has no more exits, no place left to turn, Every sign just says “Continue” while the engines burn. The engine of ego is overheating fast, Red lines on the dashboard screaming from the past. The world kli is cracking right down the seam, Not in the headlines, but inside the dream. Systems collapsing we thought were strong, Now even our pleasures don’t last too long. We’re all in the same car, shoulder to shoulder, Different accents, same weight getting colder. Different stories, different names, But the same old hunger driving the flames. Some want to jump out, some want control, Some blame the road, some blame the soul. Some say it’s politics, some say it’s fate, Some say it’s God, some say it’s too late. But there are no more exits, no place to hide, No hero to vote for, no pill for the ride. No invention left that can save the day, From how we learned to treat each other this way. The breakdown is coming, not metal, not steel, It’s...

   “Only Because of You” I came to the work for the light and the feel, Wanted heaven to prove this whole thing was real. I prayed for some fire, some peace, some relief, But I was just feeding my spiritual thief. Then I learned You enjoy when I show up each day, So I showed up for You — and for what You would pay. I felt You were happy, You shined back at me, But I still loved the echo more than the decree. Then You took the sweetness right out of the song, No taste in the prayer, no right, no wrong. Still I kept dancing, no reason to stay, Only because You wanted it that way. Lost the reward and the feeling of near, Lost even the smile that said “You are here.” No warmth in the heart, no spark in the head, Just a quiet yes where the ego was dead. Now I don’t ask if I’m rising or falling, If You feel close or I feel You’re stalling. One simple motion, one simple rule, If it gives You contentment — I’m in, I’m a fool. You took the sweetness right out of the song, No tast...

  The Worse We Feel (The Closer We Get) We wake each day to do what’s right, to walk together toward the Light, we give, we try, we bless, we pray, yet feel more distant every day. We say, “How strange, we should be near, with all these acts, with all this fear, the Torah’s here, the spice was given, so why’s the heart still so un-livened?” But Baal HaSulam whispers low, “You’re not going back, you’re learning know , the evil wasn’t seen before, now it’s revealed — that’s opening the door.” First comes the truth, the crack, the pain, the hidden will that wants to reign, the deeper ego shows its face, not to defeat — but to be placed. We don’t grow worse, we grow more clear, the dirt was always there, my dear, the Light just shines a stronger beam, to show us what we couldn’t see. The sickness had to be exposed, before the healing could be imposed, the wound must surface, burn, and cry, before the soul can really rise. So when the heart feels far from home, and every flaw is ...

 The Whole Weight We saw a crack and thought, “That’s the fight,” Just a little patch, we’ll seal it tight. We grabbed our tools and went to work, But found another hole — the same old jerk. We fixed one wall, another fell, Thought we escaped but rang the bell. Twenty more inches, then twenty again, We’re fixing the roof while drowning in rain. We thought we carried one small load, Just one kilo on the road. So we bent our backs and pushed it through, Then found another one — times two. We cleaned one corner of the heart, Called it truth, called it a start. But every light that tried to shine Showed ten more shadows in the mind. We’re not correcting, we’re just busy, Running in circles, drunk and dizzy. Patching symptoms, not the core, Sweeping dust behind the door. But when the full weight comes to view, And we see what the will can really do, Not one crack, not one flaw, But the whole damn house at war— That’s the moment prayer is born, Not from pride but from being torn. ...