The Battle Within

Inside my chest a war is waged,

Israel’s spark feels small and caged.

The nations roar, they want it all,

While Israel whispers, fragile, small.

The ego laughs, “You’ll never win,

I’ve got desire, thick as sin!”

But Israel clings with trembling might,

To faith above, beyond the sight.

The Torah’s light, a hidden sword,

It lifts the spark toward its Lord.

Not to destroy, but to transform,

The nations bend, their will reform.

At times I fall, they take the crown,

The klipot dance and drag me down.

But from the ten, a hand extends,

“Get up, you fool! Connect to friends!”

In love and pain I rise once more,

Through laughter, tears, the heart is sore.

The spark of Israel, though so slight,

Can summon heaven’s endless light.

So let the nations mock and jeer,

The path is narrow, sharp, severe—

Yet through the suffering, joy is sown,

For Israel’s seed is not my own.

It is the Creator, dwelling deep,

Awakening hearts that long to weep.

And in that cry, the nations fall—

The spark of Israel rules them all.

"The Bridge of Baal HaSulam"

I walked with pockets full of dreams,

And shoes with holes that leaked in streams.

The path was steep, the sky was torn,

I cursed the day that I was born.

Then came a man with eyes of flame,

Who called my sorrow out by name.

He said, “Child, your grief’s not random fate,

It’s bait to pull you to Heaven’s gate.”

He laughed at my pride, and slapped my despair,

Said, “The Creator put both in your hair.

One’s to lift, the other to bend,

Both are tools to reach the end.”

“The world,” he said, “is a crooked hall,

With mirrors that trick and shadows that call.

But if you link arms, all hearts as one,

You’ll find the doorway back to the Sun.”

And so we walk, in mud and in light,

Some days we stumble, some nights we fight.

But oh, when a friend takes your burden to bear—

You feel the Creator already there.

So thank you, Rav, for the map and the song,

For showing the weak where the strong belong.

In the end we will laugh at the pain we have known,

For all of it carved us into His own.

🎭 Poem: "Elul Blues (The Ballad of the Brokenhearted Beloved)"

Style: Bitter-sweet blues with a wink of holy foolishness

---

I woke up in Elul with a heart full of holes,

My coffee was bitter, my soul felt old.

“I am my Beloved’s,” I tried to recite—

But my Wi-Fi was down and the Light was in flight.

I put on my tefillin and sang a sad song,

"Where are You, Beloved? What took You so long?"

But the heavens were silent, just like my phone,

And the will to receive said, “You’re on your own.”

I danced with my sorrow, my pain wore a grin,

My ego laughed, “He won’t let you in!”

Still, I knocked and I cried, with a love that won’t quit—

And the answer came back: “You ain’t earned it yet.”

So I fasted from reason, feasted on faith,

Marinated my heart in a doubt-laced wraith.

Each mitzvah I did with a tear and a joke,

Like grilling a steak with no meat or smoke.

“I’ll love You,” I whispered, “though I’m broke and bruised,

Though my vessels are shattered, and my soul's confused.

I give You this mess, all cracked and flawed,

Because You, my Beloved, are still my God.”

Then a whisper returned through the silence and ache,

Like a breeze through the ruins that never quite break.

“My beloved,” it hummed, “you remembered the call—

And I was beside you through pain and through fall.”

So I’m back in the work with a limp and a grin,

Elul’s my rehab for shedding old skin.

The sorrow still bites, the humor still stings—

But love is a ladder that pain sometimes brings.

The Soul’s Stumbling Waltz

Oh, soul, you clumsy spark of light,

Dropped from the heavens, a comical sight!

You tripped on a star, fell into this clay,

Now stuck in a body, you grumble all day.

“Why this mess?” you moan with a frown,

This world’s a circus, and I’m the clown!

(Humor’s the balm when the ego’s a pain,

You laugh through the mud, or you’ll go insane.)

Love calls you softly, a whisper, a flame,

“Connect with the others, forget your own name!”

Baal HaSulam nods from his perch in the sky,

“Give up your ‘me,’ and your soul will fly high.”

You try, oh you try, with a heart full of care,

But your neighbor’s loud snoring? Too much to bear!

Yet love’s the glue, the spark, the divine,

It stitches the world with a thread so fine.

Sorrow creeps in, like a thief in the night,

The soul feels the fracture, the absence of light.

You chase fleeting pleasures, but they slip away,

Like sand through your fingers, they just won’t stay.

“Why this longing?” you cry, with a tear-streaked face,

This world feels too heavy, too cruel a place.

Baal HaSulam whispers, “That pain’s your guide,

It points to the truth you’ve buried inside.”

Pain, oh the pain, it’s the ego’s sharp sting,

Each selfish desire pulls a tight, bitter string.

But here’s the secret, the Kabbalist’s art:

The hurt’s just a map to your wandering heart.

Trade “I” for “we,” let your soul take the leap,

Find joy in the giving, though the climb may be steep.

With a wink and a sigh, you’ll laugh at the strain,

For love heals the sorrow, and light soothes the pain.

So dance, little soul, through this wild, messy show,

With humor to lighten, and love’s gentle glow.

Sorrow and pain are your teachers, your friends,

They carve out the path where the ego’s reign ends.

Baal HaSulam smiles, his ladder in view,

“Climb, spark of Light—your Creator waits for you!”

The Battle Within

Life is a wonder, a challenge to be had,

An internal battle that makes one sad.

Obstacles approaching from every side—

What are these obstacles giving us a ride?

They come when we try to reveal

What the ego has cleverly concealed.

We struggle and fight inside every day,

Trying to reveal the truth in a new way.

We stumble through shadows, chasing the light,

Wrestling with doubt in the dead of night.

Each thought a mirror, each pain a guide,

Each crack revealing what's buried inside.

The ego it whispers, “Stay safe, don't move,”

But the soul yearns fiercely its path to prove.

We rise, we fall, yet still we try,

To grasp the purpose hidden in why.

In friends we find the strength to see,

The chains that bind and how to be free.

Through love and unity, walls collapse,

As truth awakens between the gaps.

So if you're weary, don't lose your flame—

The battle within is not in vain.

Each step through sorrow, doubt, and fear,

Draws the Creator ever near.

A Prayer in Truth

In synagogue’s hush, where whispers take flight,

I call to the heavens with all of my might.

But oh, how I fumble, my words all askew,

My pride’s like a rooster, who struts and who crows too!

With sorrow I see it, my heart’s selfish beat,

It loves its own shadow, it craves its own seat.

I thought I was worthy, more pious, more grand,

Yet truth laughs at falsehood, and I’m but a man.

The pain of my lowliness stings like a thorn,

My flaws laid bare, in truth I’m reborn.

No wisdom I boast, no virtue to claim,

Just love for the One who can heal all my shame.

Oh, Creator of truth, hear this fool’s humble plea,

I’m farthest from You, yet I long to be free.

No finery here, just a soul worn and bare,

In truth I now call You—please show me You’re there!

With a chuckle I see it, my ego’s grand jest,

It thought it could bargain, be better than best.

But love pulls me closer, through pain’s bitter gate,

In truth’s simple mirror, I’m near to Your state.

🌿 “From the Bottom of My Foolish Heart”

I’m tired of my clever lies, Creator, see me bare,
This heart’s a crooked salesman with discount love to share.
I promised You mountains, I offered the sky,
But tripped on my ego and fell for my lie.

I’m broken and bankrupt, my credit is gone,
I spent all my merits on cocktails at dawn.
I tried to be holy—wore halos askew,
But laughter erupted, You saw it was true.

So here in the gutter of want and of sin,
I’m shouting for mercy to let Your light in.
No more negotiations, no cunning appeal,
Just grant me the courage to love what is real.

My will to receive is a cunning old fox,
He sold me for peanuts and ran with the box.
He laughs at my sermons, he naps through my prayers,
While my soul’s in the basement, tied up to the chairs.

Yet somewhere beneath all this circus and noise,
A small, trembling child remembers Your voice.
He weeps and he pleads with tears not so smart:
“Creator, please rescue the bottom of my heart.”

Give me the power to love and to give,
To live for Your joy—not just for my “live.”
Let me be silly in service to You,
I’ll dance like King David, I’ll trip on my shoe.

For sorrow is honest but joy is Your art,
You make even beggars sing songs from the heart.
So take all my failures, my laughter, my cries,
And build from these ruins a prayer that flies.

Prayer of the Heart

In the silence where thoughts dissolve,

My heart, a vessel, seeks to evolve.

Beyond the mind’s restless sway,

It cries for truth, for the sacred way.

Oh Creator, You who know my core,

My will to receive, I cling to no more.

Its weight, its pull, binds me to dust,

Yet my heart yearns for a will that’s just.

Not with words the mind may weave,

Nor logic’s chains that strive to deceive,

But with a fire, raw and deep,

My heart’s demand rises from its sleep.

Correct me, Lord, let my soul align,

With Your light, Your love, Your will divine.

To bestow, to give, to mirror Your grace,

To see Your truth in every face.

Strip the veils that cloud my sight,

Let my heart burn bold in Your holy light.

No thought can hold this fervent plea,

Only my heart’s cry sets my spirit free.

Oh Source of all, hear this prayer I send,

Not from my mind, but where my soul bends.

Transform my will, let it seek to bestow,

That I may dwell where Your mercies flow.

Trembling Strings of Faith

In the maze of life's despair, letters dry as bones,

A soul yearns for a spark, a voice to call its own.

Amidst the cloak of faith, seeking a divine door,

To transcend the tangible, to connect and explore.

Golden bells and pomegranates, a rhythm so profound,

The tremble of a violin, where joy and fear are bound.

In the search for holiness, a dance of light and shade,

The sound of silence echoes, where sacred truths are made.

With every note of longing, in a world of unseen strings,

The heart beats for the whisper of the One who sings.

For in the trembling moments, joy finds its place,

In the sacred symphony of love and grace.

The robe of understanding, beyond mere human sight,

In the trembling of creation, the word of God takes flight.

Oh, to see the door, in faith, and not through eyes alone,

To hear the silent song, and feel the sacred tone.

🌿 A Prayer for Correction 

Creator, You formed me a vessel designed,

To receive all Your goodness with purpose aligned.

But my nature is twisted, turned toward my own,

It clings to itself and calls ego its throne.

You made me a creature whose essence is need,

But I use this great hunger for selfish greed.

The gift of receiving, intended for You,

I have stolen for self, made Your purpose untrue.

I see that this gap between us is vast,

A barrier built by my will that holds fast.

Your Light cannot dwell where self-love is enthroned,

Where every intention is ego’s alone.

I study Your wisdom to learn what is real,

To expose all the truths that my ego would seal.

That Lo Lishma is my state in this land,

That I serve only self with my heart and my hand.

Yet the sages have taught me the path to ascend,

That Lo Lishma is the means to the true holy end.

That with effort and prayer, Your Light will descend,

Correcting intention that I cannot bend.

For alone I am powerless, lost in my scheme,

My motives corrupted, my hopes just a dream.

I see that my nature resists what is true,

And even in prayer I ask only for me and not You.

So I turn to You now with my failures confessed,

My ego exposed, my illusions addressed.

I plead for Your Light, for the Segula’s might,

To transform my darkness into bestowing Light.

Cleanse me of cravings that serve only self,

Redeem me from worship of egoic wealth.

Make me a vessel that lives to bestow,

A channel for blessings that endlessly flow.

Let my receiving exist just to give,

To bring You delight as long as I live.

Let intention be pure, seeking only Your joy,

Not sullied by ego’s corrupting ploy.

Unite me with friends in a circle of trust,

Where love overcomes all envy and lust.

Bind us together with one single aim,

To bring You contentment and glorify Your Name.

Help us remember this world is Your school,

Where ego is broken and self-love made fool.

Where study and prayer draw Your merciful Light,

That reforms our desires and sets them aright.

We have no other cure, no other way,

But the Light of correction that answers our pray.

So hear this true cry from the depth of the soul,

Refine our intention and make our hearts whole.

Creator, You know all the secrets within,

The root of my ego, the source of my sin.

Don’t leave me to perish in self-serving lies,

But lift me to dwell in bestowal that flies.

For I am Your creature, designed to receive,

Yet only in giving can I truly live.

Transform me completely from Lo Lishma’s claim,

To serve You in truth, Lishma, in Your Name.

🪨 “The Body's Question, the Soul's Answer”

The body asks, “What will I gain?”

Its hunger constant, sharp as pain.

It bargains even when I pray,

Demanding payment for words I say.

It says, “Your service must reward,

Or else what value is your Lord?”

I see the trap in every plea,

A chain that binds my soul to me.

But obstacles are gifts in guise,

They teach me truth beneath the lies.

Each question from the self I hear

Becomes the path to drawing near.

I hammer hard on hardened heart,

Resolved to break its grip apart.

Each blow a prayer that rends my pride,

Inviting Heaven's light inside.

I see the evil of my claim,

Insisting all must serve my name.

This clarity is grace bestowed,

To guide me on the narrow road.

For when I see my selfish will,

I gain the chance to make it still.

Transform its thirst to holy fire,

That seeks in giving to aspire.

The battle rages every day,

My body finds new words to say.

But I reply with stronger voice,

To serve the Creator is my choice.

No compromise, no hidden fee,

I yearn for true simplicity.

To work with no reward in view,

Except the joy of pleasing You.

Strike after strike, the rock must break,

Till ego’s chains begin to shake.

From splintered self new life can grow,

A vessel fit for Light to flow.

So let the questions come and rise,

I’ll meet them all with earnest eyes.

For every test, each fierce demand,

Is shaped by Your redeeming hand.

In the pursuit of Torah for its own sake,

We seek the truth, no room for mistake.

To understand, to know, with pure clarity,

Without doubts clouding our reality.

"Yesh din, yesh dayan," we must see,

The world as it is, as it truly be.

With faith and influence, we rise each day,

Growing, evolving in every way.

But in acceptance and knowledge's embrace,

We may find ourselves falling from grace.

Seeing a decline, a downward trend,

In our perception, our understanding's end.

When we observe these two states of being,

We see "yesh din, yesh dayan" agreeing.

For when we stray from the Torah's true path,

We face consequences, the aftermath.

"Yesh din tzedek," we must understand,

The righteous path is the one in demand.

To reach the ultimate perfection we seek,

We must grasp the truth, no room for critique.

This is the essence of "Torah lishma,"

Learning for the sake of the divine law.

As our sages have said, "Great is the Talmud,"

For it leads us to action, to do what is good.

So let us learn with the goal in mind,

To understand "yesh din, yesh dayan" aligned.

For faith is the key, the single command,

That guides us to righteousness, to take a stand.

In the realm beyond reason, where actions reside,

We must act without thought, with nothing to hide.

For in these moments of pure, unadulterated deed,

We find true fulfillment, the ultimate creed.

So let us strive for Torah lishma,

To seek the truth with unwavering charisma.

For in the pursuit of knowledge and faith,

We find our purpose, our ultimate fate.

Your guidance is always true,

In every task that we pursue.

Through habit, we form our nature,

And shape our reality, for sure.

In the year of ש"ג, it is said,

Through habit, we make our bed.

For what we feel and what we see,

Is shaped by our own reality.

A difference exists, it's clear to see,

Between Creator and you and me.

For us, our feelings shape our view,

While for the Creator, it's nothing new.

What we feel, that is our truth,

No matter our age or our youth.

If we taste bitterness in our life,

We may be called evil in this strife.

But if we feel goodness all around,

Then we are righteous, we are sound.

So remember, it's all in how we feel,

Our reality is what's truly real.

In the end, it's all about perception,

And shaping our own conception.

So let your feelings guide your way,

And shape your reality every day.

In a world where darkness may reign,

Where doubts and fears may cause us pain,

There is a truth that we must know,

That there is none but Him, who makes us grow.

In every trial, in every test,

In every moment we feel distressed,

There is a lesson we must learn,

That only He can help us turn.

No matter how far we may stray,

No matter how lost we may feel each day,

There is a path back to His light,

If only we seek with all our might.

For in our struggles, in our strife,

In every challenge of this life,

We must remember, we must believe,

That only He can truly relieve.

So let us strive to walk His way,

To keep His light in our hearts each day,

For in His love, in His grace,

We find our strength, we find our place.

And in the end, when all is said and done,

We'll see that He was the only one,

The one who guided us, who showed the way,

The one who never led us astray.

So let us hold on to His hand,

And trust that He will help us stand,

For in His love, in His embrace,

We find our peace, we find our grace.

Trembling Strings of Faith

In the maze of life's despair, letters dry as bones,

A soul yearns for a spark, a voice to call its own.

Amidst the cloak of faith, seeking a divine door,

To transcend the tangible, to connect and explore.

Golden bells and pomegranates, a rhythm so profound,

The tremble of a violin, where joy and fear are bound.

In the search for holiness, a dance of light and shade,

The sound of silence echoes, where sacred truths are made.

With every note of longing, in a world of unseen strings,

The heart beats for the whisper of the One who sings.

For in the trembling moments, joy finds its place,

In the sacred symphony of love and grace.

The robe of understanding, beyond mere human sight,

In the trembling of creation, the word of God takes flight.

Oh, to see the door, in faith, and not through eyes alone,

To hear the silent song, and feel the sacred tone.

our Journey

This journey we’re on takes us down many roads

Always carrying an unbearable load

So many emotions that we feel

When we unite together during a meal

Speaking about the greatness of the creator and  friends

This love that is shapeless and has no end

Surrounds our hearts, what a message to send

The Revelation of None ELse Besides HIM

Detach from will to receive

I want to detach from the will to receive 

 How, this I can’t conceive 

I study both day and night 

All to attract the reforming light

Only to find there’s only one way,

To sit with the friends and Truly pray

Never looking back only within.

That’s when the journey truly begins.

A journey filled with love and hate.

Leaving you with thoughts, you can’t relate

Thoughts that come in from above

Filled with hatred and with love

Forcing you to chose 

Which ones you need to use

Choosing the love on its own

Which to you the sages have shown

Raising you above the egos face

revealing to you Natures grace

As we pray for the others in our ten

Not for yourself but for the friends

I don’t see my friends face

Instead their Love I embrace

Living and Loving Natures plan

Loving our friends as best we can

By not doing to others that which we hate

Changes our nature, revealing our fate

Showing us a world filed with Love

As Nature gives from above

Placing the friends needs above my own 

It’s hard to do, this is known

But by annulling before the ten 

We discover the Nature of the friends

As we unitedly go deep with in

Discovering wholeness through None Else Besides HIM