The War of Permission

⚔️ The War of Permission

(Inspired by Baal HaSulam, Shamati 142)

I stand between two kingdoms, torn and bare,

One whispers “love,” the other “despair.”

The Creator hides in the fog of gray,

Where nothing’s forbidden, but hearts decay.

No sin to name, no mitzva to praise,

Just choices wrapped in ego’s haze.

My mind screams “mine,” my soul shouts “His,”

And between the breaths — the battlefield is.

I swing my sword of trembling will,

But the foe I face wears my face still.

He smiles when I fall into thought’s abyss,

He kisses my cheek — then bites with bliss.

Some days I’m a saint, some nights a thief,

Some hours faith, some hours grief.

Each neutral act becomes a war,

Each glance, each breath — a holy scar.

When I lose, the loss is near —

A whisper of pride, a drop of fear.

But when I win, the heavens roar,

And holiness claims a patch of more.

The gray turns gold, the fog ignites,

The mundane bows to higher lights.

The “mine” dissolves, the “His” remains,

Through blood and sweat, through holy pains.

So, Creator, keep me in this fight,

Where nothing’s wrong, yet nothing’s right.

Let every doubt and silent tear

Expand Your realm within me here.

For I will battle till I see —

The war was You, disguised as me.