Broken First

BROKEN FIRST

Broken first, I learned to cry

From self to dust, I asked not why

When lack got real, the heavens moved

And through that pain—the heart was proved

I came in full of teeth and pride

A throne of self I held inside

Certain my hands could force the gate

But iron hearts don’t enter straight

So down I fell through reason’s floor

Each answer died, then died once more

The mind grew weak, the body screamed

And all I built came unstitched seams

I cursed the dark, I cursed the flame

Till both revealed—they spoke my name

Not to destroy, but strip the lie

That lives each time I ask “for why?”

The ten stood near like mirrors hard

Not praising wounds, not dropping guard

They showed me what I could not see—

The cruelest cage… was only me

I begged for love but sought control

I spoke of truth while hiding soul

I wanted light to fill my cup

Yet would not break the bottom up

Then exile dug its fingers deep

No borrowed strength, no stolen sleep

And from that pit where pride was slain

A prayer was born that tasted pain

Not “Give me peace”

Not “Make me whole”

But “Take this tyrant from my soul”

“Let me feel the friends as more than breath”

“Teach me love that starves to death”

And there… beneath the ego’s knife

The dust became the seed of life

For when the woman weeps sincere

The male above begins to hear

So now I bless the breaking wide

The crushing weight, the fall of pride

For every wound that made me see

The Creator builds through what breaks me

I walk not healed—but aimed above

A battered horse beneath true love

And every scar the heart went through

Became a gate… where bestowal grew.