Psalms In The Heart

  Title: “I Trust the System” I don’t feel love, I feel the grind A thousand doubts assault the mind Yet something deeper holds the reins A silent truth that still remains Not hope, not mood, not lifted heart But knowing where the laws all start Baal HaSulam drew the design Cause and effect, precise, aligned The Light reforms, the vessel lacks The Ten reveals the inner cracks I don’t invent, I don’t pretend I trust the road the sages penned Rabash said walk where you don’t feel Where every urge says this ain’t real But stay because the system’s true Not because it feels good to you This isn’t faith that floats on air It’s weight that keeps me standing there A frequency beneath the thought That whispers truth when nothing’s taught I don’t feel bestowal in my chest I feel resistance put to test But deeper still, below the pain I know this work is not in vain So prayer is born not from despair But trust the Light is always there The lack is real, the law is fixed Correction co...

  We Are Not Here to Comfort You We are not here to warm your heart, Or play the role of some soft start. We are not mirrors for your pain, Nor proof your inner work’s “insane.” We will not shine when you arrive, Or stroke the spark that wants to thrive. We won’t reward your tears or fire, Or bow to depth, or gift, or wire. We are the place your heart resists, Where nothing moves and nothing lifts. Where all are equal, stripped and plain, And staying costs more than the gain. Here no one’s special, wide, or deep, Here only promises we keep. Not with emotion, not with sound, But with our feet stuck to the ground. If you remain when warmth is gone, When every reason says move on, Then without knowing how or when, Your heart belongs — not you — but Ten. And when the Light at last appears, It won’t feel earned, or owed, or clear. It will arrive because we stayed, While self was silent… and love was made.

  The Heart That Won’t Open (For the Sake of Connection) The heart won’t open when warmth is near, It opens where there’s nothing to feel but fear. Not fear of pain, or loss, or shame, But losing the right to remain the same. It beats just fine for a song or a scene, For heroes redeemed and what might have been. Tears flow easy when stories resolve, When good beats bad and the plot evolves. But place that heart among equal men, No spotlight, no crown, no “better than,” And suddenly silence fills the chest, No fire, no tears, no sweetness left. Because here no one claps, no ending is shown, No one is special, no one alone. Here love is demanded without reward, Here warmth is built, not felt or adored. The heart resists not hatred or strife, But surrendering authorship over its life. It trembles where no emotion appears, Where choice replaces joy, and faith replaces tears. So it locks itself tight, not out of spite, But to guard the self from dissolving outright. For love of fr...

  WORKING IN JOY I don’t work for pay I don’t work for praise I don’t work for light Or better days I work ‘cause truth Still needs a hand I work ‘cause love Needs boots on land The ego talks Still plays its game But now it works Inside the frame The road ain’t gone The load ain’t light But joy shows up And walks it right Not ‘cause I see Not ‘cause I know But ‘cause the work Still gets me home

  The Gate Was Never Locked the thoughts are not the crime its not blocking them in time the desires are not at fault its not locking them in a vault the crime is saying this is me confusing noise with identity the crime is crowning every scream and calling ego truth supreme the mind throws stones the heart takes blows the ego grins it always knows how to accuse how to pretend then sell the wound as who I am a thought appears unasked unclean a flash of dark a brutal scene that alone is not the fall the fall is trusting it at all desire burns it wants the crown it wants me flat it wants me down but wanting is not where I break I break when I agree and take the block is not the inner storm the block is naming it the norm the lock is not the urge that cries the lock is buying all its lies the ego says this proves your state you’re late you’re weak you sealed your fate the soul says stand don’t run don’t fight just aim the heart above the sight I do not wrestle thought or lust I do not...

 The Guard At The Gate I cursed the wall I could not climb Said ego stole my prayer and time I swung at shadows, fought the dark Blamed every bruise on missed the mark I said the gate was slammed shut tight That heaven hid itself from sight I screamed “You block me!” loud and wild Like a betrayed and starving child The ego laughed but never lied It said “I guard what burns inside If I step back before you’re ready You’ll shatter fast — not slow and steady” I wanted love without the grind Connection cheap, no change of mind But love don’t grow where comfort stays It’s born in fire, delay, and gray So ego pressed me to the wall Not out of hate — but lest I fall It held the weight I couldn’t bear Until I learned to ask — not tear Each failure drilled me into prayer Each fall exposed another layer Each block was mercy dressed as pain Each no was yes in deeper grain I saw at last with broken pride The ego stood right by my side A brutal guard with gentle aim Breaking the vessel — not th...

  3 H's On A Texas Road To open one’s heart is a dangerous thing It needs the Three H’s to give it a sting Hitbatlute hits first, it cuts to the bone Annulment of self, you stand alone No crown, no opinion, no right to be smart Just dust in the hands of a merciful art Bend your neck low, let the ego depart There’s no other gate to a truthful start Then Hitkalelute comes crashing inside Inclusion with friends, nowhere to hide Their lack is your lack, their cry is your sin A heart gets no rest when the many move in You fall into them, not warm, not clean Scraped by their mirrors, exposed and seen But somewhere in that mutual pain A new kind of strength begins to remain Then Hitpahalute quietly appears Enlivened hearts stitched together with tears Not joy from reward, not fire from pride But life that awakens when self has died The heart starts to beat with a rhythm not mine One pulse, one hunger, one shared design No longer asking what’s in it for me Just living inside what we’re mea...