Psalms In The Heart

  Reason Is the Next Wall I climbed above reason and thought I arrived, The pain got quieter, my hope felt alive. The darkness retreated, the doubts took a seat, I said, “This must be faith,” then faith turned to deceit. What once was belief became comfort and ground, The edge disappeared, no danger I found. My reason got dressed in spiritual clothes, And stopped me from climbing where real faith goes. The Creator withdrew, not out of neglect, But to show me the trap of what I call correct. What lifted me yesterday, today blocks the way, And demands I rise higher or honestly pray. I cannot jump alone, the height is too steep, My reason screams safety, my ego says sleep. Only the Ten, pulling hard on my soul, Can drag me beyond my imagined control. Again we rise, and again it will fall, Each new reason turning into the next wall. Until nothing is left that I call “me,” And between us appears what they call Dvekut — free.

  Between Two Worlds Is Prayer We walk this world with our feet in the dust, Hearts full of cracks but a stubborn trust. This state feels heavy, the nights feel long, Yet something keeps whispering, hold on, stay strong. We dream of a place where the heart is not torn, Where love of the friends feels natural, born. Not clouds or crowns or a heavenly view, Just hearts stitched together, simple and true. This world pulls inward, the ego’s demand, The next pulls outward — take your friend’s hand. Between the two states, no clever repair, Only a cry rising up called prayer. Not prayers of comfort, not prayers for ease, But prayers to bend where the ego won’t please. To see my brother as higher than me, To beg for the strength just to let him be free. If I fall today, let it be for the Ten, If I rise tomorrow, let it lift them again. No world to escape, no future to flee, Just learning to love — that’s eternity.

  “When Prayer Can’t Pray” I came with words, I came with need I came believing You would lead I knocked so hard my knuckles bled And heaven stayed completely dead My mouth went dry, my heart went cold The body laughed, you’ve prayed — you’re old “Look at the years, look at the cost Every request already lost” I knew You help, I knew it’s true But knowing didn’t pull me through The bitter herb stayed in my throat I swallowed prayers — they wouldn’t float Then faith collapsed, not You — just me No strength to ask, no will to plea So here I stood, stripped of disguise With nothing left but empty eyes And in that place so dark, so bare I found one thing that still was there A cry not shaped, a plea undone “Help me to pray — I have none” No answer came, no sudden light Just one more step against my sight To trust You hear, though I don’t feel To pray against what looks real This is the work — not hope that sees But standing broke upon my knees When prayer dies and still I stay T...

  “Not in the Ten” I sat alone and told myself I’m fine, Held thoughts a little longer, felt divine. I watched the mind behave, the heart grow still, And called it spirit—by my own free will. But Rav’s voice cut through my clever lie, “That’s not the soul—just flesh dressed up to fly.” No matter how refined the feeling seems, Alone it’s body, not the higher means. I measured silence, counted breaths and hours, Admired the ego polishing its powers. I felt improved, more focused, calm and clean, But none of it was born between . For spirit doesn’t live where “I” reside, It breathes where self-concern has truly died. Not in my thoughts, not in my private gain, But where my heart submits to shared pain. The Ten is not a comfort, club, or tool, It’s where the ego’s forced to look the fool. Where I can’t hide behind my inner peace, Where self-made holiness is brought to cease. Alone, I choose what effort I’ll allow, With friends, the truth confronts me now . Their faces crack my fo...

 I knocked on every gate I knew by name Each one swore light would end the shame I studied, prayed, I bent my will Still found my cup was empty still I trusted verses, plans, and signs I counted steps, I drew the lines I followed every rule they gave Still stood alone beside the grave I tried belief, it wouldn’t stay It packed its bags and walked away I tried despair, it lied to me Said, “At least now you clearly see” But clarity just burned my hands No truth to stand on, no commands No forward step, no past retreat Just hollow ground beneath my feet I begged for help — the words felt fake My prayer itself began to shake No warmth, no tears, no holy sound Just silence pressing all around I wanted proof You heard my cry The heavens stayed completely dry So there I stood with nothing left Not strong, not broken — only cleft And in that crack, where nothing fits Where even hope admits it quits I stayed — not brave, not pure, not sure Just stayed… and somehow that was prayer No ...

  Born From the Crack We studied the words, we nodded our head We thought we were living, but mostly we read Pages turned clean, yet nothing had changed Till the Light came quiet and rearranged The ego stood tall, said “I got this just fine” Built castles of logic, reason, and time Then something inside me started to bend Not wisdom, not answers—just no way to pretend A crack in the armor, a tremble in will I wanted connection but couldn’t be still The heart felt exposed, stripped naked and raw No speeches, no prayers, no clever Torah I saw my own distance, my love made of trade How often I gave just to feel I was paid The friends looked the same, but I wasn’t the same Something new stood silent, calling my name It hurt like a loss, like ground giving way Like yesterday’s truths couldn’t help me today But deep in the breaking, a whisper was born Not from my strength—but where I was torn This wasn’t a thought I could store on a shelf It came when I stopped trying to save myself A ne...

  The Soul Knows Before the Mind We open the book and the words feel dry, Ten Sefirot speaking way up in the sky. My mind starts barking, “You don’t belong,” “You don’t get a thing—move along.” But the work never asked for clever or smart, It asked for a grip with a trembling heart. Not grasping the map, not seeing the road, Just standing still where the Light is bestowed. The ego screams loud, “You’re wasting your time,” “These worlds make no sense, these lines don’t rhyme.” But the soul stays quiet, steady, and sure, Drinking what reason could never secure. Fear says, “If you don’t get it, you’re lost,” Faith says, “Sit still—this growth has a cost.” Not coins, not pride, not intellectual gain, But the burning surrender of not having a name. Each word hits places I cannot define, Not entering thought, but carving the spine. Something is moving, aligning inside, While reason stands helpless, stripped of its pride. The system is faithful, exact, and alive, It feeds what the ...