# When Even His Shadow Disappears

*By William S. Becker*

I prayed with all the strength I knew,  

Yet nothing changed, no light came through.  

I gave my heart, I gave my all,  

And still I watched my fortunes fall.

I searched for Him through endless night,  

But every wrong appeared as right.  

The wicked laughed, their tables filled,  

While those who served Him suffered still.

I watched the honest bend and break,  

While liars prospered in their wake.  

And every time I tried once more,  

Another hardship reached my door.

I cried, "Where is the One above?  

Where is the mercy, where's the love?"  

But silence answered every plea,  

Till even faith abandoned me.

I blamed the world, I blamed my fate,  

And let my heart grow cold with hate.  

No longer could I understand,  

Or recognize His guiding hand.

Yet He had never gone away,  

Though I could find no words to pray.  

His light remained beyond my sight,  

Concealed behind the darkest night.

And when my strength was finally gone,  

The friends became the ground I'm on.  

For what my heart could not restore,  

Their love could help me seek once more.

Not for reward, nor worldly gain,  

Not for an ending to my pain.  

But just to bring Him joy above,  

Through friends united into love.

So let the darkness hide His face,  

I'll seek Him in our meeting place.  

And though His shadow disappears,  

Our common prayer will rise through tears.

When His Face Is Hidden

When every road I walk turns wrong,  

And every night seems twice as long,  

When debts come knocking at my door,  

And life demands a little more.

When friends turn cold and hopes decay,  

And everything I build gives way,  

When all my efforts end in pain,  

And every loss becomes my gain.

I search for goodness in the night,  

But cannot find it in my sight,  

I know that You control it all,  

Yet still I stumble, still I fall.

I will not blame some twist of fate,  

Or curse the burdens of my state,  

For even when Your Face I lack,  

I know I'm looking at Your back.

But through my friends I make my plea,  

Correct the heart that lives in me,  

Not for the pain to disappear,  

But that Your goodness may appear.

And if tomorrow brings the same,  

I'll hold the greatness of Your Name,  

Until our hearts unite as one,  

And what was hidden meets the sun.

The Face That Never Turned Away

Inspired by Rav Laitman's lesson • Original poem

I walked through darkness, burdened with pain, 

I cursed the losses, the sorrow, the rain. 

I searched for a reason, someone to blame, 

And thought that the Creator had turned from my name.

I cried in the silence, I begged for a sign, 

Why does this suffering have to be mine? 

But buried beneath what my heart couldn't see, 

The One who was hidden was guiding me.

His face never turned, His love never died, 

It was I who had turned to the opposite side. 

For the Light never changes, the truth stays the same, 

It's the vessel within me that carries the blame.

The pleasure can blind me, the suffering too, 

Both can conceal what is righteous and true. 

For what good is pleasure if love disappears, 

And what good is sorrow if lost in my tears?

The friends are my shelter when darkness draws near, 

They strengthen my purpose and conquer my fear. 

The love that I planted when daylight was bright, 

Returns through the friends in the dead of the night.

Don't give me a fortune, don't promise me gold, 

Give me the strength when my heart becomes cold. 

To rise above pleasure, above all the pain, 

And give to the One who has nothing to gain.

Let every correction awaken my heart, 

Let love of the friends become where I start. 

For faith isn't blindness or words that I say, 

It's feeling the One who was there all the way.

So bring me the darkness, or bring me the sun, 

My work is to cleave to the Only One. 

Not for the pleasure, not fearing the pain, 

But to bring Him contentment, again and again.

And when all the shadows have fallen away, 

I'll see that His face never turned for a day. 

The Creator was giving, His goodness was true, 

The turning was mine, and the correction was too.