THE MAN WHO HAD TO DISAPPEAR

Inspired by RABASH — The Work of the Ten

I came with a heart that was battered and torn,

Dragging an ego I'd carried since born.

I thought I was righteous, I thought I could see,

Till nine other souls showed the monster in me.

I spoke about love with a mouth full of pride,

While judging the friends who were standing beside.

I prayed for the Creator to answer my call,

While building my ego a ten-foot-high wall.

I wanted the Light, but refused to bend low,

I wanted His love, but had none left to show.

I searched through the books for a heavenly sign,

While stepping on hearts that were standing by mine.

Then came the descent, and it stripped me down bare,

No strength in my body, no answer to prayer.

I screamed at the heavens, "What more can I give?"

He showed me nine brothers I hadn't let live.

One came with his anger, another with fear,

One carried a sorrow too heavy to hear.

I wanted to fix them, to tell them my way,

But love simply asked me to listen that day.

So I swallowed my pride till it burned like a coal,

And made room for their pain in the depths of my soul.

Their tears became mine, and their hunger my own,

And suddenly none of us stood there alone.

I learned that annulment was not being weak,

But holding my tongue when my ego would speak.

That faith above reason meant choosing to stay,

When everything in me was screaming, "Walk away!"

I learned that the guarantee wasn't a word,

But lifting the friend whose prayer went unheard.

And joy wasn't smiling while hiding the pain,

But thanking the Creator for bringing the rain.

I stopped asking heaven to fill up my plate,

And prayed for my brothers outside of the gate.

"Give them the strength that I cannot provide,

And bury the hatred I'm holding inside."

No longer ten strangers, each guarding his throne,

But ten broken hearts with a longing for One.

And there in the cracks where our selfishness died,

The Light found a vessel with room deep inside.

I came to the Ten thinking I would be seen,

But learned what the words "love of others" could mean.

The man who demanded that heaven appear,

Had to lose his own crown to discover Him here.

So let my name vanish, my arguments cease,

Let my brothers find strength where I once sought my peace.

For I didn't disappear when I gave them my heart,

I became part of the One I was seeking from the start.

THE BRIDE WHO DANCED IN THE DIRT

I woke this morning, dead inside,

With nowhere left for me to hide.

I searched my heart, but nothing stirred,

Not one damn prayer, not one damn word.

I sat among the friends and smiled,

While deep inside I screamed and cried.

They spoke of love, of faith, of light,

While I was drowning in the night.

I paid my bills with borrowed grace,

And wore defeat upon my face.

I begged for something I could feel,

Some proof that all of this was real.

I cursed the darkness, cursed the pain,

Then watched my ego rise again.

It wanted comfort, wanted more,

While faith lay bleeding on the floor.

And there I stood, the broken bride,

With nothing beautiful inside.

No shining dress, no wedding song,

Just one more night that lasted long.

But Rabash said, "Now dance, my friend,

Your falling isn't where you end."

Not when the heavens open wide,

But when there's nowhere left to hide.

So I began with trembling feet,

And dragged my heart across the street.

No joy to feel, no light to see,

Just one small choice: It's not for me.

I couldn't pray, I couldn't stand,

I had no strength to raise my hand.

"Creator, hear this broken cry,

I cannot pray, however hard I try."

"Don't take the darkness all away,

Just give me strength to choose Your way.

Don't make my bitter heart feel sweet,

Just let me lay it at their feet."

And then I saw what love could be,

Not what the world could give to me.

But how to lift another's soul,

While I myself was far from whole.

The bride still dances through the night,

With broken shoes and no delight.

But every fall becomes a plea,

"Please build a heart that lives for Thee."

And when the groom prepares His feast,

The hungry ego must decrease.

For every blessing that I take,

Let it be joy for His sake.

I don't need crowns, I don't need fame,

I don't need heaven to know my name.

Just let my friends stand tall and free,

And let their joy be enough for me.

So let me fall, and let me rise,

Until the truth replaces lies.

For even buried in the sod,

A broken heart can dance toward God.