How does one choose a new group

How does one choose a new group

it feels like looking into alphabet soup

i know it don’t mean to find new friends

so how does one truly begin

not by faces, not by names

not by comfort, warmth, or claims

not by who makes room for me

but who bows to unity

i step in quiet, without demand

no flag raised in my hand

i don’t ask who welcomes me

i ask where pride won’t let me be

i listen more than i explain

let confusion work its grain

where resistance starts to rise

truth is closer than my eyes

no promises carved in stone

just showing up, unknown

if i can serve the aim, not self

that’s the first brick on the shelf

and if the road feels thin and bare

that’s how i know the work is there

Covered In Love

 

Covered in Love

Ok let’s get real here, no masks, no disguise,

We see the path for what it is, no smoke in our eyes.

We see just how to give, not loud, not above,

But quiet annulment, all covered in love.

We ran for so long with a fist held tight,

Calling it strength, calling it fight.

Now we see strength is learning to bend,

Choosing the Ten again and again.

The ego cries out, afraid to be small,

Afraid it might lose, afraid it might fall.

But love steps in where fear once stood,

Whispering softly: this is good.

We don’t give sermons, we don’t correct,

We give our hearts with full self-respect.

Not fixing the friend, not judging the pain,

Just holding the place where the Light can remain.

The Creator isn’t found in what I achieve,

But in what I release, in what I leave.

Between us, a space begins to breathe,

And love becomes something we actually see.

No one is late, no one is wrong,

Some carry the tune, some hum along.

Each soul arrives by a different door,

But the room we’re building is one heart, one floor.

This is the path, simple and severe,

Cancel myself so the friends appear.

And in that space where “me” lets go,

The Creator rises… gentle and slow.

From My Heart It Swears

From My Heart It Swears

From my heart it swears

No matter what I do I’m blocked there

I know it’s a lie

It’s a sign I must try

No matter the why

I ask for help this day

Only to feel rejected in every way

Each door feels shut in my face

Each prayer falls flat in space

But I know this pain ain’t random fire

It’s the Creator shaping my desire

This wall ain’t built to make me fall

It’s built to teach me where to call

Not inward, not alone

Not king, not on a throne

But into the friends, into the ten

Where my heart learns how to bend

The ego screams, “You’re cast aside”

But that’s the lie it learned to hide

Because rejection cuts the pride

So truth can grow where love abides

If I’m blocked, it’s not the way

It’s the “me” that wants to stay

This lock won’t break by force or might

Only by choosing us over right

So I don’t curse this empty prayer

I don’t run from the deadened air

I bring my lack, naked and true

And place it softly into you

And there — between our shared despair

A crack appears inside the wall

Not in my heart, not in my head

But between us — where Light is bred

That’s where the answer always was

Not mercy earned, not wages paid

But love assembled piece by piece

Until the block itself is prayed

Between Us

 Between Us 

We were born in a story we didn’t write,

Thrown into the day, pushed into the night.

Parents, towns, and roads we roam,

Chasing a feeling we call “home.”

We grind, we build, we laugh, we fall,

Buy the dream, then outgrow it all.

New car shine, leather seat thrill,

Till the hunger returns—unpaid bill.

Anger flares when the road cuts tight,

Ego jumps up ready to fight.

“I'm right, you’re wrong,” the old refrain,

Same old script, different pain.

The heart ain’t flesh, it’s want and need,

Two vessels pulling at top speed.

One grabs pleasure, never full,

One waits quiet, barely a pulse.

That spark don’t grow alone, no way,

It needs resistance, needs the fray.

Friends collide, egos scream,

And in that mess—a higher dream.

We don’t fix ourselves, that’s the lie,

The Light shows up when we try

To hold the goal when we can’t stand,

Leaning hard on another hand.

Arvut ain’t words, it’s law and fact,

Fall alone? You don’t come back.

But together we bend, together we rise,

A place where the Creator opens His eyes.

The Campaign Between lives

“The Campaign Between Lives”

We stand between the lives we’ve known,

Between the seeds already sown,

Between what died, what comes alive,

Between the will that won’t survive.

We see the states both dark and bright,

Called death by day, called life by night,

No place to run, no camp to flee,

This war is waged internally.

Persistence pulls us thread by thread,

Through all the living and the dead,

Each step returns us to the flow,

An endless path we come to know.

I pray for you, you pray for me,

No self remains, no “I,” no “he,”

Each works the other’s broken plea,

Till all are answered—eternally.

Who Presses Send

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Who Presses Send

I didn’t wake up holy, I woke up late,

Phone buzzing debts, another sealed fate.

Coffee tastes bitter, mirror won’t lie,

I ask what’s wrong, but I don’t ask why.

I try to be good, I try to be strong,

But every intention bends itself wrong.

I say “Creator, help,” then rush my day,

Forgetting the words before they decay.

I think I decide when to finally pray,

When pain gets loud or hope runs away.

But the cracks showed up before I could choose,

Like a script already written, I just read the cues.

The what wasn’t money, or peace, or relief,

It was seeing my heart as a professional thief.

Stealing the moment, the credit, the light,

Calling it freedom while losing the fight.

The when wasn’t planned, wasn’t marked on a chart,

It came when the ego ran out of smart.

When excuses collapsed and the mask finally slipped,

That’s when the prayer got honest, not scripted.

The where wasn’t church, or lesson, or room,

It was inside the wreckage, the dust, the gloom.

Between who I wanted to be and who I became,

In that narrow space where nothing’s to blame.

And the who… that one shattered my pride,

Because I wasn’t the author standing outside.

I didn’t start crying because I was wise,

I cried because Someone removed my disguise.

The Creator didn’t wait for me to be clean,

He built the mess so I’d finally see.

He caused the lack, the fall, the delay,

So the prayer would be real when it found its way.

I thought prayer was words, said right, said well,

But it’s the scream that escapes when the ego fails.

Not spoken by lips, not polished or neat,

But born when desire admits defeat.

And the Ten—God help me, they weren’t the crowd,

They were the mirror that spoke too loud.

Every friend reflected what I wouldn’t face,

Until my prayer lost its personal place.

Because the prayer wasn’t for me, that’s the crime,

It was for us, in this broken time.

For one heart stitched from pieces and scars,

Not asking for comfort—but resemblance to stars.

So who causes the prayer?

Not the mouth, not the mind,

But the One who breaks you with surgical kindness in time.

He pulls every string, every fall, every bend,

Until your heart finally presses Send.

One Shared Heart

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Traveling through the city day after day

seeing the lost love in every way

wondering what’s next for those who don’t see

how to relate to them the way things should be

I watch them rush with eyes cast low

carrying weights they’ll never show

phones in their hands, hearts locked tight

chasing small comforts to get through the night

I’m no better, I bleed the same

wear different masks, play the same game

thinking I’m whole ‘cause I study and pray

while ego still whispers, you’re fine—stay this way

So how do I love them, cracked as I am

with shaking knees and an empty plan

not fixing their lives, not preaching the truth

but standing beside them in borrowed youth

Maybe it’s silence, maybe a glance

maybe just giving the heart a chance

to feel their burden as if it were mine

and beg the Creator to stitch us in time

No speeches, no flags, no winning the fight

just choosing connection in plain daylight

city keeps moving, lost love still stays

but one shared heart can redeem our days