Don't Plant That Tree Beside My Altar

"Don't Plant That Tree Beside My Altar"

Inspired by Rabash, Article No. 43 (1990), “What Is, ‘You Shall Not Plant for Yourself an Asherah by the Altar,’ in the Work?”

I built an altar in my heart,

And swore that I would do my part.

I raised my hands and bowed my head,

But fed my ego while I prayed.

I spoke of love, I spoke of light,

I told the friends to do what's right.

But when they challenged what I'd said,

A thousand angry thoughts filled my head.

I claimed the truth was all I sought,

Yet sold my soul for one sweet thought.

And every time my pride agreed,

I called it truth instead of greed.

I planted something near that place,

A pretty tree with a smiling face.

Its roots were selfish, its branches pride,

And all my good intentions died inside.

Don't plant that tree beside my altar,

Don't let my selfish judgment stand.

Don't let me speak about Your greatness,

While stealing glory with my hand.

For every gate within my soul,

A judge must stand and take control.

But if that judge accepts a bribe,

The truth gets buried deep inside.

The bribe's not gold, the bribe's not pay,

It's getting what I want today.

It's being right, it's being praised,

It's having my importance raised.

It's helping friends so they admire,

It's feeding my own hidden fire.

It's saying, "Creator, all for You,"

While asking, "What's in this for me to do?"

And when the sweetness disappears,

My holy work dissolves in tears.

I say, "Why bother? What's the gain?"

And find my faith was built on gain.

Then comes the descent, the bitter fall,

When I discover I gave nothing at all.

The judge sees truth, the verdict's clear,

But still my body will not hear.

The officer cannot enforce the law,

And now I see my deepest flaw.

I know what's right, yet cannot give,

For self alone I seem to live.

And there, beneath my broken pride,

Where all my clever excuses died,

A prayer is born I couldn't fake,

A cry no selfish heart could make.

"Creator, I cannot change this heart,

I've tried a thousand times to start.

Give me the strength I cannot find,

To leave this selfish rule behind."

And now I see those enemies within,

The stubborn pride, the greed, the sin.

They showed me what I couldn't see,

That I cannot correct myself through me.

For mercy must precede the light,

And bestowal must become my sight.

Not what I feel, not what I earn,

But love for others I must learn.

And when a friend stands in my way,

Perhaps that's where I start today.

To lower my head and let him rise,

And see his greatness through my eyes.

To walk above what reason knows,

To give when no sweet feeling flows.

To serve when every pleasure's gone,

And ask for strength to carry on.

So cut that tree down, root and limb,

And let my selfish kingdom dim.

Don't let my ego take Your throne,

Or call Your sacred altar my own.

For I would rather stand here broken,

With one true prayer I cannot hide,

Than stand before You dressed in holiness,

With an Asherah growing inside.

And if my heart must break again,

Then let it break for all my friends.

Until no selfish roots remain,

And love alone within us reigns.