I have been asked to tell you a story of my life

It's filled with horror and fear and strife

I am not sure it's the story to you I wish to send

But it is what it is so let's begin

The earliest I remember is when I was three

As my mother shook the hell out of me

You see she suffered from this mental disease

Called Paranoid Schizophrenia man this was tough on many degrees

As she dug her fingers into my arm breaking the skin

And yelled with anger from deep within

You’re not my child get out of my life

Which set me up for a life of strife?

As a fat and clumsy little boy

I found it hard by now to find any joy

So we fast forward to the age of 9

Man this again was a troubling time

As my teachers all stand up in despair

At the time proclaiming that there was no repair

They said that I was dyslexic at best

As they threw me into a class with the rest

Of the ones that learn slowly with no ease

And then the kids really started to tease

Even those that called me there friend

Man to this there was no end

So here is where I just tried to hide

And found the value of pot and getting fried

As we move along till I was 14 and slim

No more little fat boy now I was thin

I came into my own and found football and weights

It was like someone had opened the gate

Now I found I could hit with force

And life set me on its course

Of never having to take their shit

As I fought with those who on my face use to spit

I did not win them all but what I found

Was that I did not have to take lying down

So as I went on and my course was set

I blew out my knee man I was upset

I was headed for the pros that was clear

But instead of that learning to walk took a year

We could not afford to have it fixed

So all my plans truly got nixed

Now we move on till the age of 19

As by now I had been racing motocross what a scream

This is where I meet my first wife

And with her we shared a life of strife

You see she was molested by her step dad

But this bit of information I never had

So we married & I joined the Air Force

Where I thought I would spend my life of course

So one day I came home as about something she and I disagreed

So she went home to her mother and that was all there would be

She remarried to a man who use to beat her all the time

And I would look for a reason to clock his chime

I went out of my way to beat him to a pulp

As you see my life was then sculpted

As I entered my early 20's and more

I married again and this one I adored

She became the mother of my boys

Who defiantly fill me with joy?

As time went on and my intuition grew

There was something about her that I just knew

That she was sleeping all around

With the police and doctors around our town

Then I caught her one fate filled night

As I packed up my boys and took out in flight

Now the story truly does not end here

As 13 more relationships all filled with fear

All but two were caught sleeping around

As myself worth was trampled in the ground

Not to mention my heart

But still within me with hope I would not part

I truly only wish to find

A true friend for the end of time

And then on one fate filled day

As in my work in a troublesome way

A fight broke out & oh yea I was in the middle

Hating what I became and feeling my life was away being whittled

I reached inside with all my might

After being involved with this fight

And asked to take the damn ego away

Right now this moment this second today

So as I went back inside and got online

While searching inside for some kind of sign

Well from here you know where it went

I found the Rav, the books, and the group, as now all my time is spent

Working on the connection to you all

Holding you up so you won’t fall

Never giving up or giving in

Because I know with you is where we begin

I feel right now that I have finally found

The friends of friends what a beautiful sound

As we all strive for one single goal

As we put together the pieces of our soul

Through our connection as we become whole