THE THIEF INSIDE MY HEART

By William S. Becker

I fed a man who had no bread,

Then praised myself for keeping him fed.

I gave my coat to a man in the rain,

Then waited for heaven to notice my pain.

I prayed for a friend whose world fell apart,

While secretly judging the state of his heart.

I spoke of love, of truth, of grace,

Then cursed my brother behind his face.

I sat with the friends and lowered my head,

But wanted them hearing the words that I said.

I cried to the Creator, "I'm giving my all!"

Then cursed His silence when no answers would fall.

Oh, what a bastard this ego can be,

Stealing the love that was never for me!

Dressing in kindness, pretending to give,

Demanding a payment for each day I live.

I built me a kingdom, a throne and a name,

Then called it bestowal to cover my shame.

Two masters were living inside of my chest,

One seeking the Creator, one seeking the best.

But love isn't measured by what I receive,

Nor the tears that I cry, nor the words I believe.

It's giving the friend what my ego would keep,

It's holding his burden when the mountain is steep.

So tear down my kingdom, let self-love depart,

Expose every thief hiding deep in my heart.

Let all of my waters flow into One,

Until there is nothing for self to be won.

And when I can give without claiming a thing,

When another man's joy makes my broken heart sing,

Then perhaps in the place where our selfishness ends,

We'll discover the Creator alive in the friends.